Wishes

Student #1: The professor wanted us to list our ten favorite books.
Student #2: So?
Student #1: All I could think of was “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.”

East Carolina University
Greenville, North Carolina

Man to friend: She makes me want to cheat on my wife in front of my wife.

Exchange Place, New Jersey

Overheard by: John

Girl, to two guys smoking in a bar: Oh my gosh! Smoking? Gross! (walks away, disgusted)
Guy #1: You wanna follow her and smoke?
Guy #2: Hell yeah, I do.

Denver, Colorado

Mother to screaming child: Look, if it were up to me, you could watch all the porn you want.

Highlands Ranch, Colorado

(a couple at the checkout counter buying nylons)
Girl: I’m really excited for these tights.
Guy (excessively excited): Me too!

Halifax
Nova Scotia
Canadia

Mother to five-year-old: Keep moving, we don't want to be in the first car. If the train crashes, we'd be done for.

Metro North Railroad
New York City, New York

Overheard by: BOB Sled

Man to wife: You can bring the Beanie Babies if you really want.

Brighton
England

Overheard by: Randy

[A young woman in a wetsuit and a young man in normal clothing are standing near the packaged meats.]Female employee: Can I help you with anything?
Young woman: Oh, no thanks, we’re just admiring the bacon.
Female employee: Oh. Okay! Have a nice day!

Vons
Ventura, California

Dude: I wish all guys had boobs.
Girl: What?!
Dude: It’s so much more appropriate to grope a guy than a girl!

New Zealand

Overheard by: Schmitty

Girl #1: Dude, my phone is ringing but I don't want to pick it up…I'm too high right now.
Girl #2: Pick it up, it may be important.
Girl #1 (picking it up): Hello? (hangs up)
Girl #2: Well, who was it?
Girl #1: I don't know, just a bunch of voices.

New Brunswick, New Jersey

Overheard by: Zboots1