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Everybody's Dated a Mustache Girl-- Just Not Publicly
Boyfriend: Baby, you have to shave that mustache.
Girlfriend: Shut up! I keep telling you I'm getting it waxed.
New Jersey
Overheard by: Rebecca
Old Is the New Dead
Guy on cell: You realize it is old people's only duty to die to get out of the way right?
International Airport
Louisville, Kentucky
Business in the Front and Party in the Back?
Girl waiting for bus: A skort is like a mullet for your ass.
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
In Wisconsin, That's a 1-900 Number
Tween boy with arm around girlfriend: So, he actually tried to use my phone to call Hitler...
Wisconsin
Ryan Seacrest Was Pissed, Too
Man: Yeah, so the whole night he kept telling us that he had trapped this "goblin" and had locked it under the stairs. So finally, at the end of the night, we went to go check, and found that he had locked a midget in the crawlspace.
Boston, Massachusetts
The First Rule Of Play-Date Is...
Girl #1: I just got a betta fish.
Girl #2, way too excited: Oh my gosh, I have one of those! You should bring yours over for a play-date!
Bellingham, Washington
Is He Talking About Vagina? Discuss.
Little boy to mother: Mommy, it smells like eating wieners... right?
Walgreens Parking Lot
Port Chester, New York
Overheard by: Ldawg
The Jigsaw Killer from Saw Sings "Blue Suede Shoes"
20-something hipster guy: There was the big drill for the alcoholic... Then they busted out the small drill and it was like... woah!
Coffee Shop
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: Vanessa
Tonight on Ask Nurse Ninja
Woman on cell: You know what you should do? You should punch her in the temple. (pause) Well, you need to punch her in the temple so you can resolve this in a professional manner.
MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia
Wanna See My Needlpoint Thong?
High school freshman, examining friend's boot in hallway: These are like hooker boots, except crochet.
High School
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: One fine piece of needlework
The Best Possible Kind
Girl: A vagina is a delicate flower!
Guy: It's a fucking hole!
Bayonne, New Jersey
Then We'll Rebuild the Engine in My Chevy
Girl #1, excitedly: Okay, this is where I leave you. I know you're going to forget all about this conversation when I go, but...
Girl #2, interrupting: No, no, I won't--I'm going home right now to google "demons" and "possession."
Girl #1, walking away: Right, good. We're going to make this happen!
Girl #2, heading in opposite direction: Even if everyone else thinks we're crazy!
Girl #1, vehemently, from across the street: It's all down to us, now! We'll exorcise that demon if it's the last thing we do!
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: Only if I can watch...
