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Always Calling Them Fat and Poking at Their Thighs
Girl, pointing at KFC: Don't eat there. They're mean to the chickens.
Keene, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Really?
Either That or Christina Aguilera
Tween boy: I'm going to make Buddha the theme of my Bar Mitzvah.
Uninterested yuppie mom: Mmhmmm.
TJ Maxx
Swampscott, Massachusetts
Overheard by: money well spent
If I Don't, I'll Become a Grouch
Huge black guy to other (in fake British accent): Sir Oscar! Are you attempting to take a break?
LA Fitness
Tempe, Arizona
Have I Got a Girl for You
Male student: I just... can't control my erections.
Library, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
I May Also Be Kin to This Cheeseburger
Slightly crazy lady to older man sitting nearby: Hey! You look like my uncle Smitty! Are you kin to me?
Old man, startled: Um, no, I don't think so.
Lady: Well, you never know. I did that genealogy thing and it turns out that I am kin to Pocahontas, Thomas Jefferson and half the men that died at The Alamo.
Dan's Hamburgers
Austin, Texas
Interestingly, Gay Recruiters Use the Same Argument
Drunk guy: Foreplay? What the fuck is that!?
Edmonton
Canadia
Overheard by: B_friendly
The I Love Lucy Episode You'll Never See on TV
Gay guy #1: So does he have a boyfriend?
Gay guy #2: Yes.
Gay guy #1: Is he easy to kill?
Gay guy #2: Yes.
Seattle, Washington
Ooo-- Actually, I Forgot I Had These Nunchucks
Policeman opening doors of Social Security office: Before I let you in, does anyone have any weapons?
Tiny old lady jumping the queue: Just my fist!
Wilkesboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Jen
Luckily They Never Exceed 10 MPH
Girl on the street (looking at cars go by): Have you ever noticed how old people are like drunk people driving?
Fairfax, California
Seymour Glass Was Such a Sensitive Child
Little boy (pointing to a plastic butterfly): Mommy, what's that?
Mom: That's a butterfly. Do you like butterflies?
Little boy (timidly): No...
Mom: Why not?
Little boy: They hurt me.
The Mall
Victoria
Canadia
Laura and Her Voice of Reason Were Eventually Driven Out of Millersville with Torches
Girl #1: She finally cleaned up the dog crap!
Girl #2: What? Her dog crapped in the house?
Girl #1: No, but it was all over the front yard. Can you imagine me trying to walk through that drunk?
Guy: I'm pretty sure that what happens when you're drunk is your responsibility. Getting trashed doesn't make stepping in dog shit someone else's fault.
Girl #1: Don't hate! Oh my god!
Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania
Still Think It Would Be Sad If California Fell Into the Ocean?
Bimbette in line for concert: Wait, like, when is New Year's Eve? Is it the 30th or the 31st?
Boyfriend: It's the 30th. New Year's Day is the 31st.
Chain Reaction
Anaheim, California
Overheard by: oldest person at the show
