Better Just to Go to the Dentist

Girl: So everyone's like “why don't you just borrow one off someone?” but, like, who has a power drill just lying around? Anyway, then I'd have to go on YouTube to work out how to use it.


Must Be Blowfish

NASA intern guy #1: I think your fish are gay… Like, 99 percent sure. Look, they’ve got vertical bars.
NASA intern guy #2: They so want each other.
NASA intern guy #1: They do. And it’s not unrequited. Look, they both have vertical bars!

NASA Ames Research Center
Silicon Valley, California

Just Start Fires

Three-year-old girl: Can I open this?
Dad: No. There are two hundred and fifty matches in there, and they’re going to fall all over the place.
Three-year-old girl: But I promise I won’t eat them.

Harvest Co-Op
Cambridge, Massachusetts