We Don’t Want to Get Him Confused with Mommy

Six-year-old boy, about new kitten: That pussycat is crazy! He eats anything and everything… I mean, he was eating carrots! We need to give him a name… How about ‘Food Kitty’? Or ‘Pussy Eater’?
Mom: Uhhh, no. Not that one.

Polaris Mall
Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: jweils

Eating Dirt Is Also Off-Limits

Girl #1, talking about Lasik surgery: Well, they either cut your eye completely with a laser, or they do part of it surgically.
Girl #2: No! No! Stop. I can't talk about eyes. Don't talk about eyes, especially when I'm eating.
Guy: This is just like with my friend, Marise. We can't talk about killing people because she's from Haiti.

Arlington, Virginia

Overheard by: Molly