Characterized by Its Covalent Bonds and Little Pitchfork

Professor: Today we’re going to be synthesizing a 6,6 nylon molecule. Who can tell me where the sixes come from?
Student: The devil!
Professor: Very good. Note the dreaded mark of the polymer beast.

Chemistry lab, Concord University
Athens, West Virginia

Overheard by: I’m also failing chemistry

A Tom-Thumb Collins

Dude #1: Let’s go somewhere else.
Dude #2: Why?
Dude #1: I’ve seen the midget. I’ve drunk his juice.
Dude #2: Yeah…

Casey’s, South Side
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Depending Upon How Often You Mace Him

Chick #1: Have you ever had a class with him?
Chick #2: Yeah.
Chick #1: Does he really cry in class?
Chick #2: Sometimes.
Chick #1: … Cool.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/most_teachers_wait_until_they.html

Overheard by: wishing he was my prof

Just Like Mother Theresa

Woman #1, to table of friends: Well, I’m getting old, too. I’m getting wrinkles.
Woman #2: The thing is, you’re so fucking ugly that no one notices when you get old.

http://overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com/2007/03/well-id-rather-be-ugly-on-outside.html

Overheard by: Me.

We Keep Saying We Need to Re-Decorate the Kids’ Room

Woman pointing at cadaver: Oooh. I’d love one of those for home!

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/07/i-see-and-crave-dead-people.html

Also Why the Germans Lost Two Wars

Young suit: I need to get a new BlackBerry. I dropped my old one in a urinal. Well, I was wearing lederhosen, and they don’t have pockets.

San Jose Airport
California

Overheard by: Keren

Staples Does Have Everything!

Mom to screaming toddlers: No! You are the noisiest humans I’ve ever seen!

Staples
Franklin, Tennessee

You Sound Like Someone Worth Working Hard For

Old hag: Sometimes I forget I’m married. I guess if my husband was rich I wouldn’t forget about him, but he not.

http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/03/no-wonder-he-is-fucking-your-friend.html

Overheard by: anonymous

But I Made the Best of the Situation

Teen girl: I just discovered my fly was undone when my hand was mysteriously near my crotch.

Subway restaurant
New Zealand

But Cannibalism Is My Anti-Drug!

Professor: I don’t care what you say, there’s nothing worse than eating a baby.

Community college
North Carolina

Overheard by: First row fanboy

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