Girl on cell, completely serious: There’s a party tonight, and the theme is bunnies.

Frat boy: Dude, the dumbest thing I ever did was graduate…

Wall Street
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: alexis

20-ish girl: Wait… Is it the Specific Ocean or the Pacific Ocean?

Sarasota, Florida

Student: I decided to be a speech communication major because I like to talk a lot, and I wanted to find a way where I could get a job that makes me a lot of money for using my mouth.

San Francisco State University

Harried mom pushing stroller and toting three minions: Do you wanna see the llamas? We’re gonna see the llamas! Don’t you wanna see the llamas?!

Stoned guy: Don’t beat me up! I don’t want to be bruised tomorrow when my mom sees me naked!

Dude: Have you ever masturbated?
Chick: Uh… No…
Dude: Seriously? To me that’s like… like standing in front of a house of cards for, like, 18 years and just never being like, ‘I’m going to tip that shit over.’

Eugene, Oregon

Mom to 10-year-old son: I can’t wait until you’re 21 so that you can buy us beers.

T-Bones baseball game
Kansas City, Kansas

Overheard by: Teri

Girl on street: I like your hat!
Man on bike: Thank you!
Girl on street: I was just kidding!

Dude to friend: I was sitting and then it squirted all over my shirt…