Tired suit #1: I think my mail guy is dead.
Tired suit #2: Yeah?
Tired suit #1: Yeah. I remember he was kinda sick and he was always drunk. Then he just stopped showing up.

Union Station
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Lauren

Hot girl: It’s great to go out with new people. My friends and I are in a conversation slump — we realized that all our conversations ended up in stories about drugs or sex, so we said, ‘Let’s be normal, you know, and talk about women and football!’ So we ended up talking about all the transvestites we know and about synchronized swimming.

Bar 13
São Paulo
Brazil

Mom: Do you remember what the name of this river is, Billy?
Son: Is it the Platonic River?

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Keith

Girl on phone with boyfriend: I’m in such a bad mood, I don’t even know! When I get home, you better not have a smile on your face or I will slap yo’ ass. Misery loves company up in here, bitch!

Williamsburg, Virginia

Overheard by: C. Barreto

Guy: Dude, I’ll hook you up. My wife is hot, but her friends are hotter.

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Boy #1: I’d never want to be a gynecologist. You’d get so sick of that you’d never want to see one.
Boy #2: Gynos put Vicks under their nose so they don’t have to smell it all day.
Boy #3: You are both nasty.
Boy #4: Stop this conversation. My mom is is the next room.

New Jersey

Hipster: Anal leakage is never funny.

Charleston, South Carolina

Overheard by: Katie

Black party hostess: So, are there any black people in Nevada?
Drunk white hippie girl from Nevada: No! But we might as well be black, because we’re so uneducated and everything, you know? [Room, full of black professionals, explodes with laughter.]Black suit: I need a very dry martini right now.

Gregory Street
Madison, Wisconsin

Disgruntled mother: If I catch you biting your nails again, I am going to cut off your hair in your sleep.

Gloucester Road
London
England

Overheard by: Never want to have children

Suit: I always enjoy going to Comic-Con because of the midgets in costumes.

Dulles Airport
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Becka