Girl on cell, completely serious: There’s a party tonight, and the theme is bunnies.
Frat boy: Dude, the dumbest thing I ever did was graduate…
Overheard by: alexis
Student: I decided to be a speech communication major because I like to talk a lot, and I wanted to find a way where I could get a job that makes me a lot of money for using my mouth.
San Francisco State University
Harried mom pushing stroller and toting three minions: Do you wanna see the llamas? We’re gonna see the llamas! Don’t you wanna see the llamas?!
Stoned guy: Don’t beat me up! I don’t want to be bruised tomorrow when my mom sees me naked!
Dude: Have you ever masturbated?
Chick: Uh… No…
Dude: Seriously? To me that’s like… like standing in front of a house of cards for, like, 18 years and just never being like, ‘I’m going to tip that shit over.’
Mom to 10-year-old son: I can’t wait until you’re 21 so that you can buy us beers.
T-Bones baseball game
Kansas City, Kansas
Overheard by: Teri
Girl on street: I like your hat!
Man on bike: Thank you!
Girl on street: I was just kidding!
Dude to friend: I was sitting and then it squirted all over my shirt…