I’ll Tell You It’s Yours, Regardless

Girl, after showing of Juno: I want a baby.
Boyfriend: [Raises eyebrows.]Girl: Not by you, but, you know…

Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

blond girl talking to redhead — “I will introduce you to him. He is really into gingers and half of his face is eaten away.”

Golden Gate Park, San Francisco

Overheard by: Murphy

Teacher, handing out candy to class: They’re really sweet.
Student #1: And they make the roof of your mouth bleed.
Student #2: That’s the best part.

High School
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia

White construction worker yelling into house under construction: Hey Miguel, what are you listening to in there?
Miguel, yelling back: Bach’s Goldberg Variations.
White construction worker, muttering: Crazy Mexican drywallers.

Longmont, Colorado

Overheard by: Landscaper

White, middle aged music professor: I don’t do sevenths. Homie don’t play that.

Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire

Normal, fairly cute boy: Excuse me.
Normal, fairly cute girl: Yes? (stops walking)
Normal, fairly cute boy: Are you interested in any global issues? Aids, the environment, human rights?
Normal, fairly cute girl: Honestly, no. (walks away)
Normal, fairly cute boy: Oh. (looks really confused and a little crushed)

Outside Library
University of York
England

Overheard by: Even I thought it was a bit harsh!

Girl to friends, emphatically: No, we have nipples so that we can milk our children!

Newton, Massachusetts

Six‐year‐old #1: I’m taking you to court!
Six‐year‐old #2: No you’re not!
Six‐year‐old #1: I’m taking you to court!
Six‐year‐old #2: No you’re not!
Six‐year‐old #1: You’re in court!
Six‐year‐old #2: No I’m not!
Six‐year‐old #1: You’re in court now!
Six‐year‐old #2: (begins to cry)

Small Town
Maine

Overheard by: Willem Rosenthal

Irishman to friend, huddling under bar’s awning during massive downpour: And people wonder why we drink…

Dublin
Ireland

Overheard by: l_tau

Mom to little kid: Shhh! She can’t help it if she’s fat!

Wal‐Mart
Tucson, Arizona