Girlfriend: Oooh! Baby, we should get a dozen donuts!
Boyfriend: Okay. Do you wanna pick six, and I’ll pick six? [Girlfriend gives icy stare.] Fine, you pick all twelve. I don’t care.
Girlfriend: Twelve? I said I want a dozen.
Boyfriend: Um, honey, twelve is a dozen.
Girlfriend: I know what a dozen is, and it’s not fucking twelve! I’m not fucking stupid, you know!
Boyfriend: You’re, like 25 years old! How can you not know what a dozen is?
Girlfriend: I know what a fucking dozen is! [Looks around] What the fuck are all of you laughing at?!
King Soopers Dairy
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: We were right to point and laugh
Marine: So, things were going really well until he blew the tranny.
Twentynine Palms, California
- Posted on
- BJs, California, Gossip, Military
Sheriff: These are kind of like deputy pickles.
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/04/deputized.html
Overheard by: anonymous
- Posted on
- Cops, Food, Overheard in PDX
Guy: I’ve heard rumors…
Girl: About me?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: Me and Tina both got knocked up by you.
Guy: What?
Girl: And it’s not a rumor — it’s the truth.
Guy: How drunk was I?
Millersville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: overheardinmillersville
- Posted on
- Gossip, Hoochies, Pennsylvania
Engineer #1: What’s the deal with you and your two friends? What do you need two for?
Engineer #2: Hey! I like my friends! Both of them.
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/03/overdue-posting-new-blog-sweet.html
Overheard by: charlie
- Posted on
- Coworkers, Overheard at Cornell, Relationships
Meathead: That’s the type of woman I want to marry. I’ll bend her over, then we can have hairy Aryan babies and eat hummus together. God, what I wouldn’t do to her!
Pleased girl with him: You know, I’m really glad I decided to invite you instead of Joe!
Cedar Point
Sandusky, Ohio
Overheard by: Ckiska
Girl #1: So, I told my dad to carry my futon up the stairs. There was no way I was going to!
Girl #2: Didn’t he just have major back surgery?
Girl #1: Yeah, but I didn’t want to strain myself. I’m, like, tiny. Plus, I had to make my room look good.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/oh_well_then_thats_ok.html
Overheard by: I just lost my appetite
- Posted on
- Chicks, Family ties, Overheard in Minneapolis
Teen boy to friends: I tried to drink a whole gallon of milk once, but that didn’t happen and I ended up drinking a half gallon instead. Then I ended up pissing shit, man. It was awful, and it smelled so bad…
Skybridge, Providence Place Mall
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Ang
- Posted on
- Poop, Rhode Island, Teens
Child: Look!
Mom: They’re just flamingos. They don’t do anything.
Disney World
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Suezahn
Dutch employee: Well, I don’t like your American style and I don’t like your American way, and I don’t want to speak English anymore [walks off].
American chick, to colleagues: Keep that bitch away from me or she’s dead.
Major bank
Amsterdam
Netherlands
- Posted on
- Biotechs, Coworkers, Gripes, Netherlands
