Loud woman in restaurant: I'm discreet! My ad says I am!
Merrifield, Virginia
Overheard by: Ihatewhores
That’s the Nature of the Therapeutic Relationship
Woman: Well, yes, of course I’m making it all up. But you know it’s true.
Friend: Oh, yes!
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: Ross
I Don't Know Whether To Laugh, Say “Awww….”, Call DSS, Or Puke In My Mouth
Lady on cell: Just because she's wearing big-girl panties doesn't mean she's not your baby.
Target
Midwest City, Okahoma
Raising Vampires Is a Thankless Job
Old man on cell: Are they suckling decently? (pause) You might as well get it over with and drown them, if you know what I mean. (pause) Well, yeah, but are they swallowing?
Michigan State University
Some People Just Look Better with Misshapen Skulls
Guy #1 (after guy #2 leaves): Man, I hate him so much.
Girl: What? Why?
Guy #1: Ever since he fell out that window and almost died and shit, girls have been all over him. He's a goddam womanizer.
Girl: He is pretty cute.
Houston, Texas
The Peer Pressure Is Overwhelming
20-something suit on cell (angrily): But mom, you don't understand! Everyone I know is already on the folk dancing team!
Brigham Young University
Provo, Utah
Ho Couture
Subway musician to friend: That’s great! Now if only there was a cum-stained dress!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Terry B
On the Plus Side, You Always Had Somewhere to Hang Your Coat
Druggie talking about Italy: There were dicks coming out the walls everywhere!
Maine
Overheard by: abbitt the rabbitt
Your Father Is by Far the Obvious Choice
Five-year-old girl to sister: Who would you rather kill — Mummy or Daddy?
Mother: I don’t want to hear you talking like that.
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: disturbed
On the Other Hand, Now She Can Totally Come Clubbing with Us!
Girl to friend: Well, if she's dumb enough to use chloroform to put her baby to sleep, then that's her fault!
Virginia Commonwealth University
Overheard by: tim c