The One You Held Hands with During Our Slumber Party

Fratboy wannabe #1, entering coffee shop, to friend: Dude, I was just attacked by Wes.
Fratboy wannabe #2: Who's Wes? Do I know Wes?
Fratboy wannabe #1: Yeah, yeah. Big guy, lives in our dorm.
Fratboy wannabe #2: The one I gave a hug to last night?
Fratboy wannabe #1: I don't know. I can't keep up. Golden Roast
Knoxville, Tennessee Overheard by: Creeped-out Cara

One More and You Get a Set Of Steak Knives!

Guy answering cell: Hey guy! You back? How was Costa? (pause) Well, hey, what's a trip to Latin America without a bastard child? Tampa, Florida Overheard by: Dr Steve Manly


Um, It's a Shit Party in Your Pants, Dude

Girl at party: For the last time: I am not interested in you. You're too short, too fat and too drunk!
Guy, defiantly: I'm not drunk! If I was drunk, I wouldn't think you were so fucking ugly!
(girl storms off angrily)
Guy, to himself: It's a shit party when the ugliest bitch at the party ain't a sure thing!! Melbourne
Australia Overheard by: Scotty