Three-year-old daughter, passing Catholic church: Dead people live there.
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Joe Oxford
Unlike Yours, Stomachface.
Taller Asian teen: Ha ha! You're so short! Shorty!
Shorter Asian teen: (silence)
Taller Asian teen: Sorry, I was just kidding.
Shorter Asian teen, sadly: Well, it's only because my shoulders are below my head…
China
Just Like the Ad Promises!
Girl outside changing room: How are those other pants working for you, Jen?
Girl in changing room, frustrated: I feel like the devil himself crafted them to make a mockery of my ass.
Mall
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: almost broke a rib trying not to laugh
As a Fax Machine, on the Other Hand…
30-something to friend: After that, it was no use to him. Well…not as a leg, anyway.
Bus
England
Overheard by: Jeff Alderman
I Wrote the Ass Off That Story
Guy: So, it's like, there's ski equipment strewn everywhere on the ground. I wrote a story about it, with descriptions and metaphors and shit.
Boone, North Carolina
“Breasto Change-o” Just Might Be the Highlight Of My Week
Big-chested teenage girl: I would hate to date a magician. It would be like, “breasto change-o, I just took your boobs.”
Long Branch, New Jersey
Wouldn't That Make Her Into a Lesbian?
Teenage girl to friend: I want a boy. If I get a girl I'm going to shove her back in.
New Jersey
…So He Could Cut Up His Coke.
Confused junkie: There were these two Jewish guys called Gold and Frankenstein, and they gave Jesus a mirror.
Box Hill Central
Melbourne
Australia
I Bought Her at the Adult Store
Man on cell: I don’t feel I owe you anything! … But I didn’t even use your service. I found a girlfriend on my own!
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Steve E
… And/Or If You Live in Connecticut
Professor: … But then he said that maybe drag isn’t a great idea before you’re tenured.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire