Girl #1: Why is it that so many midgets end up getting into acting? There must be a shortage of midget actors…
Girl #2: Shortage?
Sault Ste Marie
Ontario
Canadia
When Everything We Do for Them Fails
Nerd #1: Everything men do in their lives is for women.
Nerd #2: Except masturbation — that’s for us.
Gainesville, Florida
So I Won't Be Voting for Him for President
Gay man to friend: He's not hot enough to have AIDS!
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Rachel Kaiser
Always a Burning Question
Sensitive soul: Why would I fuck you if you have a rash?
Dining Hall, Stony Brook University
Stony Brook, New York
Overheard by: Slightly amused but scared
Or Worse, in Canadia Wearing a Spandex Unitard
Ten-year-old boy to another: Yeah, I told my sister that if she kept it up, she'd end up in Mexico with her panties off.
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: i want to meet the sister
Also to Make Julienne Fries
Freshman #1: I really use a time machine.
Freshman #2: What for?
Freshman #1: Time travel, dumbass.
Northwestern University
Illinois
Although It’s a Part of My Life I Don’t Like Talking About
Hipster on cell: I’ve been everywhere. [pause] Yes, I’ve been to Queens.
Hope Street, Williamsburg
Brooklyn, New York
Like, They Could Be Electronic or Something
Freshman, walking out of library: Geez, these books are heavy! They should make, like, lighter versions of books…
Melbourne University
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Eavesdropper…
Or It Could Just Be the Alcohol Affecting My Balance
Drunk girl #1: I totally feel like there’s going to be an earthquake any day now.
Drunk girl #2: I know, this is totally earthquake weather.
Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: made my next round a double
I Prefer to Think Of Them As My “Solar Panels”
(blind shuts in lounge area, blocking really bright sunshine, everybody quickly looks up)
Hot Chinese girl: Hey!
Friend: And finally they drop the blinds. My eyes were starting to hurt.
Hot Chinese girl: But I like the sunshine! It's so bright and warm and it emphasizes my boobs by casting shadows on my chest!
University of Toronto
Canadia