Algebra class kid: Will we ever use this stuff in real life?
Teacher: No. You won't.
Middle School Algebra Class
New Jersey
Game, Set, Match
Flat-chested girl (grabbing box of energy bars): Here, get some of these for tomorrow.
Guy: I don't know. Um… it says here that they're for girls.
Flat-chested girl: Yeah, let's get them.
Guy: But… Huh, well, haha, they're not going to make me grow tits, are they?
Flat-chested girl, staring: Hasn't worked for me.
Guy (putting box in carriage): Hm-mmm.
Safeway
Colorado Springs, Colorado
And before Subtitles
Blonde #1: Did you see Marie Antoinette?
Blonde #2: Yeah.
Blonde #1: I don’t get why they’re all speaking English if they’re in France.
Blonde #2: I think that was before they invented French.
Blockbuster
Orlando, Florida
If That's True, How Come There's Never Been a Real World There?
Flight attendant: Okay, everyone, we're going to be landing soon. We would like to be the first to welcome you to reality…I mean, Cleveland.
Plane over Cleveland, Ohio
We'll Never Forget That.
Mom to little girl: No, we are not getting Eliza* a present. She hasn't given you a present ever since the elephant incident.
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Seriously, Just Kill Us Now
Pre-cal teacher to apathetic senior students: Now we're getting into the fun stuff–exponential growth of fruit flies!
Prattville, Alabama
Overheard by: Lindsey
I’m Safer Here Where Everybody Hates Me
Girl on cell: Nooo… I’m not sure I should go to Florida. That could lead to sex.
Cornell University
Ithaca, New York
We Recommend Turning Your Monitor and Playing a Lot of FreeCell
Female suit to another: So…how do we do things that make it look like we're doing things?
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/339378523/have-you-ever-worked-for-the-government.html
Overheard by: corporate America, we have a problem
And I Need Lipstick for Medicinal Purposes
College girl, handing heavy basket to boyfriend: I’m all for feminism, but I don’t like carrying heavy things.
Target
Towson, Maryland
Overheard by: Kay-ren
Oh, and One Of Your Mudslides, Please.
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: I'll have the Cobb salad with no croutons, no bacon, no egg, no cheese, and no avocado, with the chicken on a separate plate.
Sheepish waitress: That just leaves lettuce, tomato, and olives. You sure that's all you want, ma'am?
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: I'm sure.
Sheepish waitress: It'd be cheaper to get a side salad and just add chicken.
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: No, I want a Cobb salad.
Sheepish waitress: It would be the same thing without all the toppings.
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: I. Want. A. Cobb. Salad!
Sheepish waitress: Yes, ma'am. What kind of dressing would you like?
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: No dressing, please.
Sheepish waitress: Yes, ma'am.
TGI Friday's
Virginia