Six-year-old: My dad took me to this music festival. It was just a bunch of guys in the woods banging drums and making litter.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/07/and.html
Overheard by: litter machine
Tonight, on Army Wives…
Loud 30-something man on cell, while waiting in line for pizza: I can’t wait till I’m on my way home so that I can give you a definitive get naked!
Airport
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Kate R.
I Guess I Never Really Thought of Simba in Those Terms
Girl #1: Even when I was a little kid I knew it was Christian propaganda. I was like, “Hey, this lion is Jesus!“
Girl #2: That was great, say it again.
Girl #1: This lion is Jesus!
AMC Century City
This Ring Symbolizes My No-Footsie Promise
Burly male college student: I don’t want to put my bare feet somewhere where someone’s already put their bare feet.
Murray State University
Kentucky
The Kid Used to Yell “Boink Me, Daddy!”
Four-year-old boy: Daddy! I wanna get hammered!
(mom pulls out a toy rubber hammer, sighing)
Dad, to everyone around: Shhhhh, nobody heard that! If you did, little forgetfulness fairies will fly into your mind!
Airport
Phoenix, Arizona
And Never Underestimate Their Surgical Dexterity
Pilot #1: He flew to Myrtle Beach to meet some girl he met online. We were expecting to find him naked in a bathtub full of ice missing a kidney.
Flight attendant: Who would want his kidney? He’s so short!
Pilot #2: Hey, kids need kidneys too! Little kids!
Atlanta, Georgia
And Get Your Desks Out Of That V Formation
Teacher: Sit the fuck down and stop acting like a bird!
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Weirdest. Relay Race. Ever
Girl in car: Well, I guess Jesus is just going to have to go in between my legs.
Sunrise, Florida
Overheard by: Chez
Two Great Tastes That Taste HorribleTogether
Seventeen-year-old girl to boyfriend: You can’t do anything right! I send you in there to buy me some porn and you come out with hermaphrodites? It’s called Real Chicks with Real Dicks, for fuck’s sake.
Boyfriend (in thick accent): I’m sorry… My english…it is not too good. I saw chicks, I saw dicks…I just grabbed it.
Manchester, New Hampshire
Overheard by: taylor
When I Finally Mastered Writing My Name in Urine
13-year-old boy, jumping all over the place: It was a feeling of pure urethra!
Perth
Western Australia
Australia
Overheard by: he didn’t really think that one through
