Guy, about Betty Boop: She’s like a pin-up with Down Syndrome.
Equipe High School
São Paulo
Brazil
Overheard by: laughing my ass off
I Poop in Little Rock, Arkansas.
Tough guy at urinal: So you live around here?
Tough guy at different urinal: Nope, just pee here.
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Cameron
Tell Anyone, And I’ll Burn You With This Acid Exfoliant
Guy #1: What is that?
Guy #2, holding sunscreen: Oh, it’s sport sunscreen. My mom made bring it.
Guy #3: Dude. Why do you have so many ointments?
Guy #2: The back of my legs get burnt.
Guy #1: You moisturize?
Canada’s Wonderland
Vaughan, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Shan
…Yada Yada Yada, E. Coli.
Guy to girlfriend: I thought it would be funny to eat an O’Henry while pooing.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Alywishus
Turns Out Hell Is Nicer Than Michigan
Bimbette on cell: I thought I’d died, and then gone to, like, not heaven.
University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Hey, Some Shoes Aren’t Virtuous– Crocs? Wingtips?
Young gay man: Whereas, lacking the virtue of shoes, men must content themselves with being jerks.
Female friend: A poor consolation, and unfashionable.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Bethany
… While Mine’s in the Shop
Chick to friend: Man, you’ve gotta get laid. I need to live vicariously through someone’s vagina.
Village Inn
Anchorage, Alaska
Overheard by: Tabs
The Priest Wants to Exorcissor Me
Guy with hat: Did you find out what it was?
Guy with dog: They think it’s something paranormal.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Michelle Freedman
Hypothetically. If I Had Done It. Which I Didn’t.
Private school girl: Did I tell you what Jane* asked me?
Best friend: No.
Private school girl: She was all like, ‘Did you hook up with a homeless guy?’ and I was all like, ‘No, of course not! Never say that again!‘
Best friend, laughing hard: I can’t believe you did that!
Private school girl: What, hooked up with a homeless guy? It’s not a big deal.
Haight Street
San Francisco, California
It’s Not Gay If It’s About Video Games
10-year-old boy to GameStop guy, after purchasing Mario Galaxy: Bye, I love you! I mean…wait. I meant “thank you.” I didn’t mean it! (runs away)
GameStop
Vestavia Hills, Alabama
Overheard by: that’s what they all say
