Un­til She Found a Mar­ket for the Pho­tos on the In­ter­net

Pro­fes­sor: Sor­ry if you’ve been ex­cit­ed to see how you did on your es­says, but I did­n’t get a chance to mark them over Christ­mas break.
Class: [Groans.]Professor: Well, my tes­ti­cles swelled to the size of grape­fruit over the hol­i­day break, so don’t think you’re the on­ly ones dis­ap­point­ed. My wife was­n’t thrilled, ei­ther.

York Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: de­cid­ing­whether­to­laugh­ornot

Is That Nice Doc­tor Help­ing You at All?

Grand­moth­er: This sal­ad is just won­der­ful.
20-ish chick: Yes, but it has raisins in it. I don’t eat raisins.
Grand­moth­er: What? Why?
20-ish chick: I’ve al­ways felt bad for them. They once were so full of life, and then the sun sucked their souls out and left… this.


Over­heard by: sis­ter­say­what