Girl to friend: I know, it’ll be so uncomfortable I can’t wait! Though if someone licks me this time I’m not gonna be okay with it.
Overheard by: Intrigued
Customer #1: Can you tell me about these TVs? Oh, sorry, I thought you worked here. You are dressed just like them.
Customer #2: That’s okay. I don’t know much about TVs.
Customer #1: What’s to know? You plug it in and connect the cable, right? You probably know as much as them. Now these TVs, if they are digital, which they say they are… do I need a cable box for these or do I just put the setting on cable?
Customer #2: I don’t know. I don’t have a digital TV.
Customer #1: I don’t have a TV either. I’m homeless. I have a radio.
Overheard by: Scomart
Son: But you said I could if we didn’t fight.
Son: But you said I could and we didn’t fight.
Mother: Well, you shouldn’t have driven me crazy.
Son: But you didn’t tell me that!
Overheard by: Stacy Dollar
Clarinet girl: I have, like, this fetish with office supplies, especially the electric stapler.
Friend: Oh my god! What?
Clarinet girl: Yeah, sometimes my roommate and I dance with it. And the boys above us creep at our window.
Friend: Oh… interesting.
Overheard by: Glad I don’t live near them… And glad I wasn’t stuck with either of them as a roommate.
30‐something male student to teacher: I keep having sex with these girls, and I go for 30 minutes… or sometimes and hour. They don’t come. What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with them?
Female professor, confidently: It sounds like you’re rubbing ’em raw!
We Had No Idea What They Were, Either.
Short girl: So, what do you do with the pen cap condoms?
Much taller girl: Okay, you take them…and you throw them out.
Short girl: You don’t like…reuse them or something?
Much taller girl, smiling: Do you reuse normal condoms?
(short girl laughs)
Much taller girl, seriously: Don’t just wash those and reuse them.
Boiceville, New York
Overheard by: Toasted
Little girl: Mommy, I know where ’em at.
Mom: Where? Show me.
Little girl: Right here — here are those big things you stick between your legs.
Mom: No honey, I need your dad.
Chick #1, fawning over little pup: Oh my god, he is sooo adorable. Hellooo! Hellooo there, little guy! Awww, so cute. [She and her friend walk away.]Chick #2: Oh, he was so cute! I wish I could have one.
Chick #1: I wish I could have stepped on the little thing and squished its little head.
Fashionable, ditzy young woman at cheese counter: A lot of girls cheat on their taxes because they just don’t know how to do them.
Overheard by: dismayed feminist