You Think I Should Put on Some Pants?

Drunk guy on cell: Hey, this is Eric*. Just calling to see how you were doing at three in the morning. [To chick passerby] Hey! I saw you tonight at the club!
Angry drunk chick: Get away from me!
Drunk guy on cell, into phone: What the fuck is up with every girl on campus thinking I want to rape them? Just because I’m drunk doesn’t mean I’m a fucking pervert.

University of Missouri-Columbia
Columbia, Missouri

Overheard by: Caesar22

I Call It Comparison Shtupping

Chick: So, what did you and Kev do last night?
Sorostitute: We got drunk and had sex.
Chick: You’re a walking fucking disease.
Sorostitute: What? How am I supposed to know what I want unless I drunkenly sleep with a bunch of people I don’t want?

Ohio State University
Columbus, Ohio

I’m Still Not Telling

Chick pointing at port-a-potty: Well, I guess I’m going to the bathroom now.
Dude: Do you fold or crumple?
Chick: This conversation has gone too far for me.
Dude: I fold. Well, depends on my mood.

Union Park
Chicago, Illinois

…I Mean Camel. Camel!

Real estate broker/teacher to class: So tell me, in the 1770s, when Thomas Jefferson was coming up with this system, if you were to want to go from the original colonies to London, what mode of transportation would you most likely take?
Woman in the back: Horse?

Scottsdale School of Real Estate
Scottsdale, Arizona

Overheard by: Mirth