Fratboy wannabe #1, entering coffee shop, to friend: Dude, I was just attacked by Wes.
Fratboy wannabe #2: Who's Wes? Do I know Wes?
Fratboy wannabe #1: Yeah, yeah. Big guy, lives in our dorm.
Fratboy wannabe #2: The one I gave a hug to last night?
Fratboy wannabe #1: I don't know. I can't keep up.
Golden Roast
Knoxville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Creeped-out Cara
One More and You Get a Set Of Steak Knives!
Guy answering cell: Hey guy! You back? How was Costa? (pause) Well, hey, what's a trip to Latin America without a bastard child? Tampa, Florida Overheard by: Dr Steve Manly
Ironically, the Skirt Has a Silver Lining
Girl in uniform: So when I went to pick up my uniform there were no skirts. So my mom was like “My daughter needs bottoms.”
Friend: That sucks!
Girl in uniform: Yeah, the skirt I’m wearing now belongs to this girl who was deported to Trinidad.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Myr
Though I Would Advise Against Googling the TA. *Shudder*
Professor: So I was looking through your online homework and I tried out the first question and I got it wrong. So I suggest you google the answer. You can find anything on google. Bellingham, Washington Overheard by: Condones This
I Blame Myself for Buying You the Little Pin-striped Suit and Supersoaker
Female: What are you gonna be for Halloween?
Child: Al Capone.
Female: But you're Al Capone every day.
Memphis, Tennessee
I'm Known As the Paul Revere of Gaudy Accessories
Lesbian with terrible tie: I am the vanguard of the revolution.
Cozy Corner Diner & Pancake House
Chicago, Illinois
Um, It's a Shit Party in Your Pants, Dude
Girl at party: For the last time: I am not interested in you. You're too short, too fat and too drunk!
Guy, defiantly: I'm not drunk! If I was drunk, I wouldn't think you were so fucking ugly!
(girl storms off angrily)
Guy, to himself: It's a shit party when the ugliest bitch at the party ain't a sure thing!!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Scotty
Was Alvin and the Chipmunks Banned in Canadia?
Lady #1: So we have these squirrels in our backyard, and I don't know if the rabbits got to them or what, but they don't have any tails, just these stubs.
Lady #2: (laughs loudly)
Union Station
Toronto
Canadia
That's Why Raccoons Wash Their Food First
Guy: When I went down on him, I realized he didn't shower.
Friend: Gross.
Guy: Yeah, I wasn't even gagging because of his dick, but because of his foul stench.
UC
Berkeley, California
Then My Crush Only Increased.
Ten-year old girl #1: He was pretty cute.
Ten-year old girl #2: I know! I had the biggest crush on him in third grade… until he died.
Santa Fe, New Mexico
Overheard by: Wait. What?