College dude: She needs to get her fuckin’ face smashed in. She’s such a stupid bitch.
Friend: Who?
College dude: Janet*. I fuckin’ hate her. This is fuckin’ bullshit. [To other friend across the library] Hey, shut the fuck up down there!
577 Western Avenue
Westfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Annie
Little girl, after fireworks: Was that magic, Daddy?
Father: There’s no such thing as magic.
Magic Kingdom, Disney World
Florida
Overheard by: Emily.
Hobo: ‘Scuse me, yo, can you tell me where the psychological bathroom is?
Bookstore
St. Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: bookseller
Pouting newlywed wife: I feel like we don't spend enough time together.
Seething newlywed husband: (grinds teeth)
Pouting newlywed wife: Enough quality time.
Seething newlywed husband: (remains silent)
Pouting newlywed wife: Would you like me to tell you what quality time is?
Seething newlywed husband: (about to speak, thinks better of it)
Pouting newlywed wife: 23 hours a day.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/465741992/one-hour-is-plenty-of-time-for-a-lot-of-drugs.html
Overheard by: good, that leaves one hour for him to think of a response
(five-year-old girl tries to hit puppy with a toy)
Step-mom: I’m gonna hit you with that toy.
Five-year-old girl: How hard?
Fresno, California
Coworker, about Dick Clark's New Year's Eve: For people our age it's just not New Year's until we see Dick.
Sanford, Florida
Referee: The puck is loose! It's loose it's loose!
Player on the bench, muffled: Your mom is loose!
Referee: I heard that.
Hockey Rink
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: penguins
Frat boy #1, shouting: Man, I would never date a girl who looks like my sister.
Frat boy #2, also shouting: But that's all you date.
Frat boy #1, in lower voice: I know, but I gotta stop.
Igloofest
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: Mimi
Girl to friends: Fuck Europe! I got Tanzania all up on my ass!
Atlanta, Georgia
Obese middle-aged tourist to husband: I called him and told him we're at passenger pick-up 2. He called and asked where we'd be, and I said passenger pick-up 2, that's where he can find us. It's just easier to find us when he gets here. Passenger pick-up 2. And it's cold. That's why I brought this vest. I brought this vest in case it got cold, and it got cold. I'm going to button it up. Did you hear me? I'm going to button it up. There, it's buttoned. (husband ignores her)
Newark Airport, New Jersey
Overheard by: EthanK