Ghetto lady to two young boys: Stop lookin at my pussy!
20 Bus
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: nightfallcub
On Today’s Episode Of Skanky and the Brain…
Girl #1: Yeah, Dave*’s cute. Not super-attractive, but I’d sleep with him.
Girl #2: I wouldn’t.
Girl #1: Why not?
Girl #2: I made a pact with myself that I would never date him.
Girl #1: Yeah, but did you say you wouldn’t sleep with him?
Girl #2: No, I guess not.
Girl #1: So there’s, like, a loophole. You can sleep with him, just don’t date him.
Girl #2: Yeah, I guess so. Cool.
Girl #1: God, I’m so smart.
Valencia Community College
Orlando, Florida
Talk Amongst Yourselves
Math professor, taking baby steps across the front of the room: Infinity is waaay over there. It's gonna take me awhile to get there.
Southern Methodist University
Taos, New Mexico
Can I Get a Swig?
Hobo: Girl, I know you’re a freak! All redheads are freaks!
Brunette hipster pumping gas: Step off. What I do is none of your business.
Hobo: Lady, I’m just talking shit ’cause I’m drunk.
Brunette hipster: Me, too.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: cuspy
Obesity Is So Mainstream
20-something hipster girl to friend, as ringtone is heard: Haha, it's Adele!
Friend: Who?
20-something hipster girl: Oh, that fat girl everybody loves!
Boston, Massachusetts
One Day You Will Make Some Dork Very, Very Happy
20-something chick to friend on cell: I like how you're listening to the message I left you while I'm standing right here.
Friend: I just want to make sure I get the message, I don't want to be like one of those people who calls you back without listening to the message.
20-something chick: I hate those people! It's like, what if the message was really important? Like, “Help me, I'm dying! Don't call me back–it sets off the bomb!”
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Good point
Can We Write a Theme Song About You with That Lyric?
Lady, bumping into female cop in crowded elevator: Oh! Excuse me.
Female cop: Hey, if my boobs don't getcha, my ass will.
Justice Center
El Paso County, Colorado
Turns Out There Is Always Room
Tiny Pakistani girl: I did not hook up with him. I just put Jell-O in him. Big difference.
Fredericksburg, Virginia
By the Prince's Attorney in Cross-Examination
Single mom: And what happens to Cinderella at midnight?
Eight-year-old son: She gets destroyed!
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Well They're Part Silicon
Dude at bar: And they're real housewives? That's awesome!
The Highlander
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Herr Professor Doktor