Little girl, about passerby wearing turban: Look, Mommy — it’s Aladdin.
Target
Virginia
Overheard by: Makes me want to have kids!
We’re Lucky the Wildfires Keep Us Safe
Girl #1: There are these bees in Asia, and they like shoot venom at you and it like eats your skin or something.
Girl #2: Wow, that’s crazy, man! Remind me never to go to Africa.
High School
Scottsdale, Arizona
I Figure Since He Died for Me, I May As Well Give Him Something Nice to Look At
Man: I’m giving up bread for lent.
Woman: Is that because Jesus Christ died for your sins, or because you’re concerned with your figure?
Starbucks
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Maggie
Wouldn’t Going Potty First Be Most Important?
Mother in bathroom stall to small child: We can go soon, but first mommy has to go potty, then put her pants back on. Put her pants back on… That’s the most important thing.
Puyallup, Washington
Overheard by: in the next stall…
Professional Jello Wrestling Has Its Pratfalls, Sweetie
Girl: But I showered for you this morning!
Boyfriend: So you don’t want to go?
Girl: I didn’t say that, but you made me get cleaned up this morning, and now I’m just going to get dirty. You better pay my water bill, for all these showers you make me take.
Quiznos
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Believes in no-strings-attached hygene
And Since Your Sister Got Crushed by That House, You’re All I’ve Got!
Drunk guy outside window: I didn’t storm the beaches of Normandy so you could fly around on pieces of wood!
Montague Street
Glasgow
Scotland
Overheard by: sarah (trying to sleep here!)
The Heaven Entrance Exam Is Teeming With Poetry Questions
Teacher (about poetry assignment): Some of you did a good job and wrote some wonderful things. Some of you just did the assignment. Some of you haven’t even turned it in. Those people are going to hell.
TJHSST
Alexandria, Virginia
Jesus: No Way! I Am, Like, Twice That Size!
Girl #1: Y’know, it kind of weirds me out when I have sex with my boyfriend. He looks like Jesus.
Girl #2: Jesus wasn’t Mexican.
Girl #1: Yeah, yeah, but still — it’s like I’m having sex with Jesus.
Girl #2: You should talk to your pastor about that.
http://www.overheardinvancouver.ca/
Overheard by: katherine
My Partner, Paul, Is As Dumbfounded As I Am
Disgruntled dad-to-be: I wish I could sue the urologist, but it is what it is. So now I’m having a son. Whatever.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Glad he’s not my Dad
Are They Applying Lip Gloss Over There?
20-ish European guy: So, do you like Angela*?
20-ish Asian guy: We’re pretty good friends, yeah. But what do you mean ‘like’ her?
20-ish European guy: You know — like-like her.
20-ish Asian guy: Oh, no, no, no, no, no! We’re just really good friends. I never really thought of her that way. Why? Do you like-like her?
20-ish European guy: I dunno. I think I like-like her, but I thought you like-liked her. [They walk away, still talking.]Woman: Is it just me or did those foreign guys sound like 12-year-old American girls, but, y’know, with funny accents?
Charity pancake breakfast
Hope, Alaska
Overheard by: I’d say closer to 10
