Girl: I want to bake you a cake!
Boy: I don't do commitment.
Melbourne
Australia
I Don't Think You Have Much Choice
Woman on phone: So you want me to call her anyway and tell her that I'm not coming to a party that I wasn't invited to?
Park Ave
Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Christina Federici
You Think I Should Put on Some Pants?
Drunk guy on cell: Hey, this is Eric*. Just calling to see how you were doing at three in the morning. [To chick passerby] Hey! I saw you tonight at the club!
Angry drunk chick: Get away from me!
Drunk guy on cell, into phone: What the fuck is up with every girl on campus thinking I want to rape them? Just because I’m drunk doesn’t mean I’m a fucking pervert.
University of Missouri-Columbia
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Caesar22
It’s More Like a Museum of Strangers’ Poo, Honey
Little girl, inside port-a-potty: Mommy! Mommy!
Mommy: Just be quiet and go potty.
Little girl: Mommy, do you know what it feels like in here? It’s like a little house where I’ll always be protected.
Renaissance Festival
Maryland
Overheard by: Nancy Whiskey
I Call It Comparison Shtupping
Chick: So, what did you and Kev do last night?
Sorostitute: We got drunk and had sex.
Chick: You’re a walking fucking disease.
Sorostitute: What? How am I supposed to know what I want unless I drunkenly sleep with a bunch of people I don’t want?
Ohio State University
Columbus, Ohio
I’m Still Not Telling
Chick pointing at port-a-potty: Well, I guess I’m going to the bathroom now.
Dude: Do you fold or crumple?
Chick: This conversation has gone too far for me.
Dude: I fold. Well, depends on my mood.
Union Park
Chicago, Illinois
You're Not Writing Your Own Vows, Are You?
Person #1: What's that movie with Tom Hanks and the volleyball?
Person #2: Castaway.
Person #1: Oh, I'm so bored… You're like the volleyball to me. I don't necessarily like you, but you're there and I'm alone.
Guam
…I Mean Camel. Camel!
Real estate broker/teacher to class: So tell me, in the 1770s, when Thomas Jefferson was coming up with this system, if you were to want to go from the original colonies to London, what mode of transportation would you most likely take?
Woman in the back: Horse?
Scottsdale School of Real Estate
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Mirth
And at Least the Newport Jazz Festival Is Over in Three Days
Guy in suit: I said, “It’s better than a Chinese prison, you should be used to it by now.”
Memorial Union Bus Stop
University of Rhode Island, Kingston, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Jo
Can't Answer. Crashing.
Skinny boy at the back of the classroom: I had a Pop-Tart for breakfast!
Teacher, horrified: Why? Oh my god, why?!
Middle School
North Carolina