Hot chick #1: I just cannot get off during sex.
Hot chick #2: That’s because you masturbate too much.
Hot chick #1: Oh.
Lebanese Taverna
Washington, DC
See the Truth in the Morning and Die Happy That Night
Old man in hospital bed, to family: I've said it once, and I'll say it again. Tigers are the sharks of the land!
Poughkeepsie, New York
You Never Did That When We Were Together, Either
Young guy on cell: You got a bikini wax?… Really?… How come you never did that when we were together?… Oh, so you’re a woman now?
7-Eleven
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Some of the Time You’re My Favorite Fuck
Drunk girl: ‘Fuck’ is my favorite word!
Sober boyfriend, laughing: ‘Fuck’ is not your favorite word. ‘Fuck’ is your favorite word some of the time.
Drunk girl: ‘Some of the time’ is my favorite word! [Falls over.]
Dorm room
Lexington, Kentucky
Overheard by: My Favorite Word Too
Chad and Jeremy Break Up
Gay guy #1, walking down the street: Oh, this place is cute. Your parents should stay here when they visit.
Gay guy #2: That's a funeral home.
Market Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ray
I Have Standards — I Just Don’t Know What They Are
Blonde to friend: You know that guy I was going out with? He told me he was going out with me because he liked blondes, and I thought, ‘I’m not a blonde,’ but then I remembered I was… But that’s not a good enough reason to go out with me.
National Art Gallery
Canberra
Australia
Overheard by: Dr Hackenbush
Let's Start with One Tier
Girl: I want to bake you a cake!
Boy: I don't do commitment.
Melbourne
Australia
Dude, You’re Preaching to the Choir
Student: She thinks she’s so good. She was probably the only soprano in her high school, so she was automatically the best. Or maybe she went to a school for like, people with severe burns. She was the best in the burn victim ward.
Westminster Choir College
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Gaby Young
Or Use Birth Control
Woman to friend: So I killed three of them already. I guess that means I should lose some weight.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: corey
But I Want to Be the Straight-shooter, If You Know What I Mean.
Male mountain biker: All we ever did was make out. And that's not what I want in a relationship. If I wanted a hook-up buddy I'd at least get one who would suck my dick. I mean, there's like 14 girls I could go to right now. So that's why I broke up with her.
Female mountain biker: Yeah… She was pretty straightforward though, wasn't she?
Crafton Hills, California
Overheard by: they didn't even notice I was wearing hiking in slippers