Old dude #1, eating lunch: What is this?
Old dude #2, sitting next to him: It's chicken.
Old dude #1: It's chicken? It looks like fish.
Old dude #2: No, it's chicken.
Old dude #1: Doesn't it look like fish?
Old dude #2: Whatever it is, it's dead.
(short pause)
Old dude #1: What is this? Fish?
Assisted Living Facility
Boston, Massachusetts
Man: You spunt all our money!
Woman: Fuck you! You spunt the money — that’s who spunt the money!
Wal-Mart
Wichita, Kansas
Elderly gentleman playing chess: You know, in college, when all of my friends were chasing girls, I was on the chess team…chasing wood.
Barnes & Noble
Augusta, Maine
Overheard by: Fia
Male teacher talking about student: Yeah, that ear infection made her go deaf. She wears one of those things in her head. The implant.
Meanest lady ever: Her life is over. You can't be deaf and ugly. That is too many things.
Male teacher: She's five!
Meanest lady ever: By six she'll barely be a person.
Fairfield, Connecticut
Professor: I urge you to visit the TA as well, because we have complementary viewpoints. For example, he’s with it… and I’m not.
UNC-Chapel Hill
North Carolina
Overheard by: Li’l Bit
Middle aged shop owner, as female vocalist sings pop song on the radio: I ain't no queer or nothing, but the first time I heard this song, I thought it was pretty as hell.
Waco, Texas
Effeminate tourist guy on cell: So yeah, it was rigidly pressed in the watershed…
Cottage Street
Bar Harbor, Maine
Serious Asian dude: I don't like angry soul food bitches. I like happy soul food bitches.
Maryland
Overheard by: Neither nor
Mother: That dress is cheap — cheap like the cigarette cartoons in my mother’s freezer.
Daughter: It’s prom. You’re supposed to look cheap.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Girl: My friends are always saying I need to make a Facebook page and I'm like, “Why? I talk to you a-holes enough already!”
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/416332366/so-you-can-send-me-gifts-you-spent-a-dollar-on.html
Overheard by: sleeping on the job