My Mother Always Said I Married a Piece Of Trash

Neighbor, talking about busy husband: Yeah, he may take Monday off just to decompose.

Burke, Virginia

Overheard by: Jimmy C

Might Be Time to Block Cinemax, Mom

Little girl to popsicle: And then I’m going to lick you and suck on you until you melt all over me.
Concerned mother: Kelly! I told you not to talk to popsicles!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/347772608/that-one-is-going-to-be-a-handful.html

Overheard by: Ian

Are You in the Dark About Gay Sexual Slang, Dear Readers?

Gay husband to his husband: It’s these Mexican circumstances. Everyone knows when you pass go, you collect $200.

Fairfax, Virginia

Some Folks Have More Baggage Than Others

Ghetto female station attendant: Let me see your ticket.
Scared-looking guy: I don’t have one, I gave it to the driv…
Ghetto female station attendant: You rode fo’ free?
Scared-looking guy: No, I gave my ticket to the…
Ghetto female station attendant: He ain’t got no ticket! Get the station police over here, this guy rode for free!
Scared-looking guy: But I gave my ticket to the driver. There’s my receipt.
Ghetto female station attendant, after pause: Can I get your bag out for you, sir?

Greyhound Station
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

If Lost Had Been Filmed in Walmart

Woman: How was I supposed to find you way up here?
Man: You told me to wait up here.

Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: ISPgypsy

That’s the Last Time Mommy Is Taking You to Work

Four-year-old boy, singing: I’m gonna piss in your mouth, I’m gonna piss on your head…
Mom: Sweetie, who are you talking to?
Four-year-old boy: You.
Mom: Oh, okay.

Publix grocery store
Florida

Overheard by: Amused yet appalled