Dude #1: Dude, are you still drunk?
Dude #2: Maybe a little, how could you tell?
Dude #1: You smell like beer, weed, and hooker spit!
Lecture Hall
University of Tennessee
Overheard by: bluecollarbelle
So I'm Immune to Your Toxins
Girl to boyfriend: I am the clownfish to your anenome.
Salt Lake City, Utah
See Those Guys Outside Erecting a Monument to My Not-Caring?
30-something woman: Should we get this one?
Mom: It comes with two 8x10s.
30-something woman, to brother across room: Do you want an 8×10?
Brother: Don't care.
30-something woman: Maybe we should get this one with the 5x7s. (to brother) Do you want a 5×7?
Brother: It's incredible how much I don't care.
Photo Studio
Germantown, Maryland
Overheard by: Daniel
Should Have Gotten It with Extra Butter
Girl #1: I dare you to make out with that piece of popcorn. [Friend makes out with popcorn.]Girl #2: I make out with my mirror all the time.
Girl #1: Oh, honey, that’s just sad.
Makeout girl: My lips feel dry…
Herndon Festival
Herndon, Virginia
Overheard by: Carly
When Aunt Jemima Eats Burritos, Everyone Knows It.
Churchgoer to another: Did you fart? Something smells like buttermilk.
Methodist Church
Knoxville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Nick
You'd Prefer They Were Six Breasts All from the Same Chicken?
Bagger to cashier: There's something mildly strange about a package that contains breasts… from different chickens.
Whole Foods
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: They were thighs actually, but I see your point.
This Was Often Heard on the Set of Little House…
Angry mother: Seriously, Landon, I told you, do not touch anyone else's balls!
Mini Golf
Burnham, Maine
Now Would You Mind Shutting Up and Blowing Me?
Guy: I don't have a favorite person. (pause, then begrudgingly) Well, I guess my favorite person is her… (points at girlfriend)
Girlfriend, unenthusiastically: Well, gee.
Park Tavern
Jersey City, New Jersey
But We'll Learn Better Ways to Do That in This Class
Professor: At concerts, you move your head in an up-and-down motion in certain parts, also known as “headbanging.” You may also be Satanic. You may or may not, or you might just to piss off your parents.
http://www.overheardatumbc.com
You Owe Me for Helping You Realize You're Gay
Young teenage boy: You owe me.
Young teenage girl: I owe you for what?
Young teenage boy: For sleeping with you for four years!
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Abby C.