20-something woman preparing turkey to guy: I'm not sure what's worse, pulling all this out of the turkey's ass, or you taking it in the ass last night.
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: At least some one had a happy thanksgiving
Thanks, President Obama!
White hipster to others: I've noticed the black kids in Harlem are starting to wear skinny jeans and skateboard. It's great… 'cause it's, like, cool to be smart again.
Massachussetts
Drunk Voting Hasn't Worked for Me in Prior Years
Girl: I'm so nervous that I'm going to somehow accidentally vote for Romney.
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
What Trendy Nightclubs Are Like, in Bizarro World
Crazy blonde lady on park bench: Because they're all about gluttony. Plus, it's harder for them to get in if you're thin, because they're usually fat, you know? (two heavy ladies next to her nod)
Judiciary Square
Washington, DC
Is That by Herbal Essences?
Bottle blonde: Oh my god, you have to tell me where you got your color done!
Natural blonde gentleman: Bitch, this comes from Adonis genes gifted from on high.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Dr. Iniego Strangelove
Or Should I Just Come on It?
Man whispering into cell: But honey, I didn’t fuck her! I just came on her! … Hey, you want that Polynesian sauce they got here, right?
Chick-fil-A, Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
It's Either One or the Other, These Days.
Blonde guy: And it burned the whole way down! I think my esophagus hemorrhaged.
Skinny guy: Hey, at least you didn't eat nine bowls of pudding.
Kansas State University
Overheard by: Michele
Drugging Miss Daisy
Old white lady, leaving table with a flourish: Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to the bathroom to shoot up.
Lemongrass
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Loves Her Some Thai Food
Wasn't This an Alanis Morissette Song?
Man walking down the street: I ordered a dress online and got a raincoat.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Laura
Guy: Mind! I Said I Wouldn’t Mind!
Drunk girl on cell: What? … I’m so drunk I can’t even hear… I want to do naughty things to you… So, you’re saying if I were to lick and suck you, you wouldn’t care?
Fiddler’s Green
Winter Park, Florida
Overheard by: grossed out because she’s not even cute