English teacher: Yeah, I dated this girl one time and she took a class and learned middle English. She memorized the beginning of The Canterbury Tales in middle English so she was like, “Do you want to hear The Canterbury Tales in middle English?” And I was like “yeah!” and she said it, and it didn't even sound like English. It was crazy, like chanting or something. I was about to propose to her just then. But I got over it.
Rock Bridge High School
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kelsey
Cracked out old lady: Yeah, I think it's time for me to get a new dildo.
Cracked out old guy: Oh, really? Why?
Cracked out old lady: I don't know… I'm not getting the same vibrations anymore. You should tell your wife to get one.
Cracked out old guy: Nahh, I don't think she'd enjoy it…
Cracked out old lady: Yeah, true, true.
McDonald's
Surrey, BC
Canadia
50-something mom: It was the first time I've ever heard Brian* call uncle Ned* a prick!
20-something son: Mom!
50-something mom: I don't even know what that is, a prick.
20-something son: Don't worry about it.
50-something mom: Well, Brian's right. Ned is a prick, whatever that is.
Woodbridge, Virginia
Overheard by: Cols
Man on street (asking for donations to a charity): You wanna donate?
Man #1: What about all the money I pay in taxes? That's a donation.
Man #2: Oh shit, I don't even know what to say to that.
16th & Chestnut
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: indigo
- Posted on
- Default, Guys, Money, Offers and requests, Pennsylvania, Questions
Drunk girl to friends: Dave and I were talking about which Muppet is hottest. I said the Count. He says Cookie Monster.
Dave: The Count would count every thrust! One… Hahaha… Two… Hahaha…
Drunk girl: But the Cookie Monster would get crumbs in the bed!
Downtown Grill and Brewery
Knoxville, Tennessee
- Posted on
- Compare and contrast, Default, Drunks, Friends, Girls, Restaurants, Tennessee, TV shows
Woman walking out to parking lot to random guy: Hey dude, I have a picture of you in your underwear! Are you Jared's roommate?
Mexican Restaurant
Stillwater, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Confused yet amused vet student
Girl #1: I'm so high.
Girl #2: Oh, I don't do that anymore, last time I was high I gave a two-hour blow job.
Girl #1: Oh my god, did a little piece of your soul die?
Girl #2 : Not really, Jesus Christ Superstar was on in the background.
Girl #1: Oh, well, musicals make everything better.
Girl #2: Definitely.
York, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jess
- Posted on
- BJs, Default, Drugs, Girls, Movies, Music, Pennsylvania, Questions, Time Management
