Pro­fes­sion­al Jel­lo Wrestling Has Its Prat­falls, Sweet­ie

Girl: But I show­ered for you this morn­ing!
Boyfriend: So you don’t want to go?
Girl: I did­n’t say that, but you made me get cleaned up this morn­ing, and now I’m just go­ing to get dirty. You bet­ter pay my wa­ter bill, for all these show­ers you make me take.

Mi­a­mi, Flori­da

Over­heard by: Be­lieves in no-strings-at­tached hy­gene

Je­sus: No Way! I Am, Like, Twice That Size!

Girl #1: Y’­know, it kind of weirds me out when I have sex with my boyfriend. He looks like Je­sus.
Girl #2: Je­sus was­n’t Mex­i­can.
Girl #1: Yeah, yeah, but still — it’s like I’m hav­ing sex with Je­sus.
Girl #2: You should talk to your pas­tor about that.

Over­heard by: kather­ine

Are They Ap­ply­ing Lip Gloss Over There?

20-ish Eu­ro­pean guy: So, do you like An­gela*?
20-ish Asian guy: We’re pret­ty good friends, yeah. But what do you mean ‘like’ her?
20-ish Eu­ro­pean guy: You know — like-like her.
20-ish Asian guy: Oh, no, no, no, no, no! We’re just re­al­ly good friends. I nev­er re­al­ly thought of her that way. Why? Do you like-like her?
20-ish Eu­ro­pean guy: I dun­no. I think I like-like her, but I thought you like-liked her. [They walk away, still talking.]Woman: Is it just me or did those for­eign guys sound like 12-year-old Amer­i­can girls, but, y’­know, with fun­ny ac­cents?

Char­i­ty pan­cake break­fast
Hope, Alas­ka

Over­heard by: I’d say clos­er to 10