Arizona

Sweet old lady: Well, when we moved to Gilbert we started up a garden and thought we had volunteer tomato plants.
Sweet middle aged lady: Volunteer?
Sweet old lady: You know, they came up without us planting them. So I started watering them and giving them fertilizer, and they got pretty big. Then one day I was eating dinner and I saw a boy jump over our fence in the back, rip out one of the plants, and take off with it!
Sweet middle aged lady: He stole a tomato plant?
Sweet old lady: Well, there was a sheriff down the street a few days later, so I told him about it. He came over to look at them, and told me they were marijuana plants!
Sweet middle aged lady: They weren't tomatoes?
Sweet old lady: I thought they were, but whoever lived there before us must have planted marijuana in their yard, and when I started watering they sprung up again.
Sweet middle aged lady: That gives me a funny feeling, knowing your house had drug users in it.

Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Mia

Hotel guest exiting meeting: You know, in a case like this I would typically use the phrase, ‘I wouldn’t trust it as far as I could throw it,’ but I could throw that chicken pretty far.

The Phoenician Resort
Scottsdale, Arizona

Overheard by: Accurate…

Professor: Okay, let's review. What's it called when you put geological events in sequential order?
Basketball star #1: Calligraphy!
Basketball star #2: Naw dude, that's writing.
Basketball star #1: Oh yeah…that's what the Egyptians did, huh?
Basketball star #2: Naw, that's hieroglyphics, man.
Professor: The answer is “stratigraphy.” Let's move on quickly.

Geology 101
Mesa, Arizona

Overheard by: YeahKey

Girl studying with her friend: I love how you never learn about what's inside a boob.
Friend: Yeah, that's a shame.

Library
Arizona College

Overheard by: lura

Photography professor: Yeah, I did this whole series about raves when I was in Tucson… I even dyed my hair yellow and shaved a daisy into it because, you know, I was “submersing myself in the culture.” But that was a long time ago. Now I'm a teacher. Go figure, huh?

Photography Class
Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: Katie

Guy #1: Hey, cool! Harry Potter bookmarks! You think they have one for Hufflepuff?
Guy #2: Probably not.
Guy #1: Oh… Do you think it’s because nobody cares?

Borders
Tucson, Arizona

Dude #1: Hey, man, you okay?
Dude #2: Yeah, I was just in that… hot… shit… What’s that called?
Dude #1: The sauna?
Dude #2: Yeah. That shit is hot, man.

Rec center
Gilbert, Arizona

Black 20-something guy to friend: Sir Mix-a-Lot killed more black people in the 90s than heart disease and Aids combined.

Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: I know his pain

Hobo woman: So if you stand with one foot on Venus, and one on Mars, it is possible to move earth with a hockey stick.

Eriberto’s
Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: Drew

Dad: When I came in it smelled really great, but it actually tasted really disgusting.
Daughter: Same with poop.

Arizona