Skinny people

Skinny sorostitute: Every time I see him he just makes me want to throw up.

Arizona State University

Overheard by: Lindsay

Guido to skinny guy on métro: So you weren’t really grabbing her boobs. That’s just following instructions. (pause) You were just being a team player, man.

Vendôme Métro

Tall skinny guy: Did you know that three out of every four deaths on roller coasters are girls? It’s because they’re so small and aerodynamic.

Six Flags
Valencia, California

Tall, skinny kid: He’s…like…suspiciously Asian.
Tall skinny friend: That’s what I thought too!

Tempe, Arizona

Skinny ginger guy: Oh, don’t over‐egg the omelet!
Gorgeous girl: Uh… Omelets are mainly made of egg…?
Skinny ginger guy: Just because you wear glasses and go to university you think you’re so smart. Well you’re not. Because you’re a girl! Nerrrrrrrrr!


Overheard by: Concerned_citizen

Large woman: Your dad kicked me in the head!
Scrawny boyfriend: What?
Large woman: And then you kicked me in the head!

Fredericton, New Brunswick

Overheard by: Marg

Skinny guy: He’s coming to the party tonight? Wasn’t he hitting on your girlfriend last time?
Big burly bearded guy: No, she texted me last night. She talked to his roommate: turns out he wasn’t inviting her to a threesome ’cause he likes her. He was inviting us to a foursome ’cause he likes me.


Blonde guy: And it burned the whole way down! I think my esophagus hemorrhaged.
Skinny guy: Hey, at least you didn’t eat nine bowls of pudding.

Kansas State University

Overheard by: Michele

Skinny boy at the back of the classroom: I had a Pop‐Tart for breakfast!
Teacher, horrified: Why? Oh my god, why?!

Middle School
North Carolina

Skinny girl: My roommate’s nuts. We got into another fight.
Tall girl: Oh, God, what is it now? She’s mad again ’cause you don’t rinse every drop of toothpaste out of the sink, right?
Skinny girl: No, it’s the mayonnaise! The fucking mayonnaise! She accused me of eating it! Just the plain mayo, not on a sandwich or anything. I looked at her and told her, ‘Listen, bitch, I don’t eat mayo. I’m anorexic.’ She’s accusing me of having no self control!
Tall girl: So, what happened then?
Skinny girl: I was drunk, so I threw the mayo out our front door and said, ‘Ha! Now no one can eat it!’ I don’t think that helped the situation at all.

George Herman’s
Charlotte, North Carolina