Arizona

Four-year-old boy: Daddy! I wanna get hammered!
(mom pulls out a toy rubber hammer, sighing)
Dad, to everyone around: Shhhhh, nobody heard that! If you did, little forgetfulness fairies will fly into your mind!

Airport
Phoenix, Arizona

Stoner chick on cell: Yeah, he’s just gonna want to get high and do stuff to my ass.

Wendy’s
Scottsdale, Arizona

Overheard by: Jon

Crazy man to woman walking to her car: Sir! Sir! There is evidence here that there has been sexual activity in this area!
Woman: (silence)
Crazy man (under breath): Lazy pig.

Parking Garage
Tucson, Arizona

Hyper girl: Hey, I’m just really happy that I could identify Joe Pesci’s forehead!

Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: Mevans

Exceedingly pale college guy: You can't trust redheads. They don't blink their eyes at the same time.
Exceedingly pale high school guy: (nods in understanding)

Arby's
Tempe, Arizona

Girl eating pizza to friends: Like, do I want to meet aliens? Yes!

Pizza Place
Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: Felicity

Frat boy #1: What is pink eye, anyway?
Frat boy #2: I dunno.
Frat boy #1: Well, I don’t see how it can be that contagious.

Palm Walk, Arizona State University
Arizona

Overheard by: oh, trust me…

Weird young man, talking to himself: Those damn beavers and their rakes!

Sedona, Arizona

Little boy at hand-drying machine: Dad, aren’t you going to smell my hands so you know they’re clean?
Dad: No, it’s okay. Let’s go.
Little boy, getting angry: Smell them. Smell them! Smell them!

Restroom, Scottsdale Fashion Square
Scottsdale, Arizona

Overheard by: mine were clean

Emo chick: So then she glared at me. In a mean way, not a happy way.
Normal looking boyfriend: I don't think that word means what you think it means.
Emo chick: Huh?
Normal looking boyfriend: You know, I just don't think this is going to work out.
Emo chick: Wait. You're breaking up with me? Here? Why?
Normal looking boyfriend: Well, I wasn't planning on it, but honey, you didn't like Watchmen and you've never read or seen The Princess Bride. Clearly we're just two very different people.

Flagstaff, Arizona

Overheard by: nayvera