Housewife: We all have days at home with the cat where we think, “God, that cat looks yummy.”
Newcastle
Australia
Overheard by: Susie
Professor: Her motto was, ‘Forget the pill, it’s all God’s will.’ So nature had its way and this young lady got pregnant. And just so you know, I had nothing to do with it.
Philosophy lecture, Melbourne University
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: sleepy philosophy student
Music teacher: Tenors like to dominate.
School
Western Australia
Australia
Big and buff male barista to bigger and buffer male customer (excitedly): And then you can bring the tutu!
Maroubra Junction
Sydney
Australia
Teacher reading story to class: Little Bear hurt his head, and Big Bear kissed it better. Little Bear hurt his foot, and Big Bear kissed it better…
Six-year-old: Well, shit happens.
Sydney
Australia
Biochemistry lecturer, talking about his cholesterol issues: So I was trying to figure out how I could blame this on my wife.
University of Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: pink sunnies
Hot young suit #1: What happened with your girlfriend?
Hot young suit #2: I manipulated her into a false sense of security, then rooted her, then dumped her — same as I did with Mandy. [After a pause] I’m not looking for praise.
Theatre
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Rosebyanothername
Father: … But worms don’t have arms and legs. You have arms and legs, don’t you?
Young son: Uh-huh…
Charlestown Square
Newcastle
Australia
Girl at party: For the last time: I am not interested in you. You're too short, too fat and too drunk!
Guy, defiantly: I'm not drunk! If I was drunk, I wouldn't think you were so fucking ugly!
(girl storms off angrily)
Guy, to himself: It's a shit party when the ugliest bitch at the party ain't a sure thing!!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Scotty
