Australia

Teacher: Okay, so the online quiz is up. You have a week to complete it, in your own time. I suggest, even encourage, you to bring your laptops and get together with your friends and have an “online quiz party”. Last year we had students throwing “online quiz orgies” but that's another story.

Griffith University
Australia

Girl on phone: Hi, mom, sorry I didn't call you back… I was busy having sex.

Melbourne
Australia

Woman: I'm glad all my friendships are online!

Melbourne
Australia

Youngish girl to pair of friends: My vagina is ruined after last night.

Melbourne
Australia

13-year-old boy, jumping all over the place: It was a feeling of pure urethra!

Perth
Western Australia
Australia

Overheard by: he didn't really think that one through

Girl #1: Did you hear John* is thinking about getting a new tattoo?
Girl #2: Yeah? What's it gonna be?
Girl #1: He wants to get a kangaroo wearing gumboots, with a shovel over its shoulder. How classy is that?

Sydney
Australia

Freshman, walking out of library: Geez, these books are heavy! They should make, like, lighter versions of books…

Melbourne University
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Eavesdropper…

Calculus lecturer: If I had 20 million dollars to give you as a gift…I would, just to see you fuck up.

Perth
Western Australia
Australia

Teenage girl to friend: And then he stuck his finger up my butt, and said “Oh, yeah, do you like that, babe?”
Friend: See, there you go. If you don't sit a guy down and tell him not to go up your butt, he will. Look at you, you're butt-fingered.

Subway Store
Maitland
Australia

Girl #1: So, do you know what she told me? Her mother walked in and she was you-know-what-ing… with the milkshake maker!
Girl #2: Huh?
Girl #1: She was — y’know — using it down there!
Girl #2: What?!
Girl #1: Gross, I know.
Girl #2: … Did she make a milkshake with it afterwards?

Newtown, NSW
Australia

Overheard by: buzzcut