Ten-year-old boy: You know what I would have if I could have four wishes?
Big sister: I don’t know. What?
Ten-year-old boy: One: no drought in Georgia; Two: no global warming; Three: world peace; Four: a Komodo dragon that is really nice and fun to play with, is a vegetarian, lives forever and can grant eternal life.
Druid Hills, Atlanta
Overheard by: Miranda
Tween girl to crowd of loitering friends: Everyone’s bisexual… except for Jenny.
Outside Starbucks
Avon, Connecticut
Mother to ten-year-old son at supermarket check-out queue: And then we’ll go and look for a dress for me.
Ten-year-old son: I’m not going clothes shopping with you. You go in every shop, you try everything on, you never like anything and come home with nothing and I’m not standing around waiting!
[All male members of the queue cheer.]
Luton
England
Middle school chick: Sir, are you married?
Substitute teacher: That’s a very personal question. That’s like if I asked you, “Has it started yet?”
Terman Middle School
Palo Alto, California
Overheard by: heerothewizard
Tween boy to another: You seem very gay to me.
Woman with them: That’s not very nice!
Tween boy: What? All I mean is he has a really busy social life.
Moon River Diner
Shanghai
China
Overheard by: MF in China
Tween girl, to dad and three younger siblings: I can’t believe we’re eating dinner at a Target…
Target
Royal Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: spacerwoman
Twelve-year-old boy to friend: I didn’t know bookstores had porn!
Friend: Dude, that’s Cosmo!
Barnes & Noble
Illinois
Tween girl in pack of tween girls: Yes, he's my friend! He's nice! But I guess if I thought about it, I wouldn't like him.
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Isotope Feeney
Tween girl #1: Oh my god… You look so orange in that picture!
Tween girl #2: Bitch.
Tween girl #1: No! It’s a good thing! Orange is the new pink!
Switzerland
