Twelve-year-old boy to friend: I didn’t know bookstores had porn!
Friend: Dude, that’s Cosmo!

Barnes & Noble

Tween girl in pack of tween girls: Yes, he's my friend! He's nice! But I guess if I thought about it, I wouldn't like him.

Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Isotope Feeney

Tween girl #1: Oh my god… You look so orange in that picture!
Tween girl #2: Bitch.
Tween girl #1: No! It’s a good thing! Orange is the new pink!


Tween to friends: Imagine if Hitler gave everybody hugs!

Baltimore, MD

Tween girl on side of parade route, to old man on John Deere in parade: I think your tractor’s sexy.

Stilwell, Kansas

Overheard by: sarah

Preteen girl #1, trying on cowboy hat: If I was a cowboy, would you be my friend?
Preteen girl #2: No.

Newburyport, Massachusetts

Frazzled mother: At Michigan State they don't even have parties. They're not going to want you at a party. You are not going to a party. There is no chance.
Hopeful twelve-year-old boy: Oh, there's a chance.

East Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: Cameron

Tween: Should I get Fanta or cock?

Perth, Washington

Overheard by: shocked older sister.

Student: Somebody drew a triforce in the bathroom.
Teacher: There’s a penis in the hall and now a triforce in the bathroom?

English Class
Arcadia, California

Overheard by: Sam

Tween boy: I'm going to make Buddha the theme of my Bar Mitzvah.
Uninterested yuppie mom: Mmhmmm.

TJ Maxx
Swampscott, Massachusetts

Overheard by: money well spent