Ditz #1: …and then I was like, “Why did I fail spring semester, sir?” and then he was like, “You asked me if The Odyssey was an actual event, and stated that it was in every one of your papers on the subject, even after I told you it wasn't.”
Ditz #2: Wait, it wasn't?
Loyola University
Chicago, Illinois
30-ish blonde #1: So, what do you think of my date?
30-ish blonde #2: He seems nice… Plus, he’s a plastic surgeon!
30-ish blonde #1: Hmmm… I don’t really like him. Plus, he only does same day procedures. I’m only dating him for the free Botox.
30-ish blonde #2: I totally understand. I would only date him for free Botox, too.
Ladies’ room, The Wilshire
Santa Monica, California
Rich white chick: Fuck, yeah, I’d be a car ho for some sweet cash.
Christchurch, Canterbury
New Zealand
Blonde: So, he calls me drunk at two o’clock in the morning and tells me our relationship has barnacles.
Brunette: What?!
Blonde: He compared our relationship to ship that has barnacles on it!
Brunette: Um…
Blonde: So now I’m like, ‘Should I read into this?’
Psych building, Washington University
St. Louis, Missouri
Girl #1, studying: I don’t want to do this anymore! In five years I’m going to be dead and I won’t care.
Girl #2: You won’t be dead in five years.
Girl #1: Well, I’m going to be really old and I’m not going to care anymore.
Girl #2: You’re not going to be old and you will care.
Girl #1: Wait… What? Care about what?
SUNY Cortland
Cortland, New York
Overheard by: Stephanie
Bimbette #1: Hey, ummm, how do I get my files out of the computer?
Bimbette #2: Wait… The computers are also filing cabinets?! No, wait — I don’t think they are…
Bimbette #1: But isn’t that where we get the papers?
Bimbette #2: What?
Bimbette #1: What?
Honesdale High School
Honesdale, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alex Lepro
Bimbette #1: Can you get pregnant from giving head?
Bimbette #2: No, dumbass! Your saliva kills it before it gets to your uterus.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/i_guess_everyone_has_given_up.html
Overheard by: I wish I were joe mauer so I could get girls like this
Girl #1: So I was, like, in this hot tub with this guy, and we’re, like, making out or whatever.
Girl #2: Uh-huh…
Girl #1: And then I go, ‘What’s your name?’ And I think he said something, but I was like, ‘Whatever.’
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/12/big-honking-update.html
Overheard by: alex b.
Bimbette: I don’t know what his problem is. Columbus Day? Like, whatever, it’s a day off. I would celebrate Saddam Hussein Day if I got a day off.
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/10/sundays-suck.html
Overheard by: sitt
Bimbette: There was racism because when the English were being mean to the Irish people.
Dude: Ummm, English and Irish people are both Caucasian. Technically, they’re the same race.
Bimbette: No, Irish people have red hair.
Inattentive TA: That’s an interesting point.
Overheard at York
http://community.livejournal.com/overheardatyork/
