30-ish blonde #1: So, what do you think of my date?
30-ish blonde #2: He seems nice… Plus, he’s a plastic surgeon!
30-ish blonde #1: Hmmm… I don’t really like him. Plus, he only does same day procedures. I’m only dating him for the free Botox.
30-ish blonde #2: I totally understand. I would only date him for free Botox, too.
Ladies’ room, The Wilshire
Santa Monica, California
Rich white chick: Fuck, yeah, I’d be a car ho for some sweet cash.
Christchurch, Canterbury
New Zealand
Blonde: So, he calls me drunk at two o’clock in the morning and tells me our relationship has barnacles.
Brunette: What?!
Blonde: He compared our relationship to ship that has barnacles on it!
Brunette: Um…
Blonde: So now I’m like, ‘Should I read into this?’
Psych building, Washington University
St. Louis, Missouri
Girl #1, studying: I don’t want to do this anymore! In five years I’m going to be dead and I won’t care.
Girl #2: You won’t be dead in five years.
Girl #1: Well, I’m going to be really old and I’m not going to care anymore.
Girl #2: You’re not going to be old and you will care.
Girl #1: Wait… What? Care about what?
SUNY Cortland
Cortland, New York
Overheard by: Stephanie
Bimbette #1: Hey, ummm, how do I get my files out of the computer?
Bimbette #2: Wait… The computers are also filing cabinets?! No, wait — I don’t think they are…
Bimbette #1: But isn’t that where we get the papers?
Bimbette #2: What?
Bimbette #1: What?
Honesdale High School
Honesdale, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alex Lepro
Bimbette #1: Can you get pregnant from giving head?
Bimbette #2: No, dumbass! Your saliva kills it before it gets to your uterus.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/i_guess_everyone_has_given_up.html
Overheard by: I wish I were joe mauer so I could get girls like this
Girl #1: So I was, like, in this hot tub with this guy, and we’re, like, making out or whatever.
Girl #2: Uh-huh…
Girl #1: And then I go, ‘What’s your name?’ And I think he said something, but I was like, ‘Whatever.’
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/12/big-honking-update.html
Overheard by: alex b.
Bimbette: I don’t know what his problem is. Columbus Day? Like, whatever, it’s a day off. I would celebrate Saddam Hussein Day if I got a day off.
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/10/sundays-suck.html
Overheard by: sitt
Bimbette: There was racism because when the English were being mean to the Irish people.
Dude: Ummm, English and Irish people are both Caucasian. Technically, they’re the same race.
Bimbette: No, Irish people have red hair.
Inattentive TA: That’s an interesting point.
Overheard at York
http://community.livejournal.com/overheardatyork/
Girl #1: Oh my god, so remember how Ben stopped talking to me and I was pissed but now I’m totally over it and whatever? Well, it turns out that what I didn’t know was that his mother was dying and he was held up at knife point for like 20 minutes and was going through post-traumatic stress… And then I went home for reading week and didn’t call him because I thought he wasn’t talking to me, and that was apparently, like, the straw that broke the camel’s back — like, he really needed me and I wasn’t there for him or something.
Girl #2: Wow. It’s like, ‘Thanks for making me feel like a total bitch.’
Girl #1: I know!
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/03/12/this-is-worse-than-that-time-he-couldnt-make-it-on-my-birthday-because-those-aliens-kidnapped-him/
