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Guy at library: What is this thing?
Friend: It's how you check out books from the library.
Guy, proudly: Oh, well, I've managed to get through my entire undergrad without ever using the library!

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2008/11/20/he-must-be-in-education/

Overheard by: Jon

Excited lady, telling story to group of people: And then he turned the tap on right into my purse!

Seattle, Washington

Boy to girl: I'm telling you… The Golden Girls is the original Sex and the City.

Panera
Fairfax, Virginia

Overheard by: Colleen

Girl #1: I saw her panties.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Oh, they were off of her, not on her.

Woodbridge, Virginia

Trashy mom trying to get toddler to leave an animal exhibit: Get over here or I’ll whop your butt!
(five seconds later) And give me back my lighter!

Woodland Park Zoo
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Jenster

Girl passing two students eating: They have corn!

JC Bistro, George Mason University
Fairfax County, Virginia

Overheard by: Candice

Mom Has Very High Standards

Lazy girl: So, I told my mom that you and I were going to take tennis lessons together in the summer.
Workout friend: Oh, yeah? What did she say?
Lazy girl: She just laughed at me.
Workout friend: Why?
Lazy friend: She said I was too slow, uncoordinated, and she didn’t outright say it, but I’m sure she thinks I’m mildly retarded.

Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: A mild case of the ADD

Seminary student: I always wanted to just write down a series of numbers and letters on the birth certificate, and then later tell my kid they were a robot. It’d be awesome because you’d have the real, original birth certificate to prove it — to prove that they were a robot…

Princeton, New Jersey
http://pomomusings.com/

Student: I thought about it this morning and like… Who would I text if I fucked my landlord?
Oter student: Me.

Concordia University Canada

Overheard by: jebajeba

Male student #1: Fuck cat videos. I don't judge cat videos, I judge the people who watch them.
Male student #2: Yo, fuck your mother.

Concordia University
Canadia

Overheard by: Jeba