And Neither Could God

College student: So first my girlfriend and I split, then I got accepted into the frat, and then I found god…I couldn't handle spring break after that weekend.

Georgetown University
Washington, DC

Posted on June 20, 2018
Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, God, Relationships, Students, Washington, DC

That Damn Third Commandment Always Trips Me Up

Good Catholic schoolboy to friend who just recited a really long prayer: Good job! You only missed one word. This one can be really hard and you almost got it perfect.
Bad Catholic schoolboy: God dammit! Jesus Christ, I'm never gonna get this bullshit memorized!

Goretti-Neumann High
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: lora

Posted on June 19, 2018
Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Education, Etiquette, Friends, Guys, Insults, Pennsylvania, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teens, Words

There Are So Few Good Roles for Latina Actresses

Chica #1: Here's your apron.
Chica #2: Oh! I'm going to be such a ho' tonight!

Sugar Land, Texas

Posted on June 18, 2018
Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Texas, Weirdness, Words

Weirdest Game Of Tag Ever

(tiny girl sneaks behind a big, tall guy for a hug)
Big guy, startled: Whoa! Why did you hug me from behind?
Tiny girl: You told me you don't like hugging me from the front because my vagina touches you!

UC Irvine, California

Posted on June 16, 2018
California, Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, Guys, Questions, Vagina, Weirdness

…Just Like the Pilgrims Did.

Loud guy to friend, in hotel hallway: So all I could do was run off into the woods, jack off, come inside and fillet the turkey!

Wyoming

Posted on June 16, 2018
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“Don’t You Feel It in Your Pants?” Would Become a New Hit Single for Usher

Loud teen girl on cell: Jaime, I’ve been calling you! Didn’t you feel it in your pants?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/299422489/maybe-not.html

Overheard by: yikes

Posted on June 15, 2018
Cell phones, Clothes, Default, Girls, Gripes, On the phone, Overheard in Minneapolis, Teens

I Will Now Lift a Piano Without Using My Hands

60-something female professor: Boys, you don't have this problem, but girls: always do your Kegels, especially after you have a baby.

Willamette University
Salem, Oregon

Posted on June 15, 2018
Advice, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Family ties, Oregon, Teachers, Women

Psh, You're Lucky If the Guy Stops Masturbating Long Enough to Have Sex

Girl #1: You're more likely to have a boy if the guy hasn't masturbated in awhile.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah, my professor said so!

Sather Gate
UC Berkeley, California

Posted on June 14, 2018
California, Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Girls, Masturbation, Questions, Stupidity

…When I Sat on His Face. What?

Girl #1: My 21st birthday was fun.
Girl #2: So was mine, minus the fact that my friends bought stuffed animal beavers at the winery and proceeded to yell about how soft and hairy their beavers were… While my dad was driving.
Girl #2's grandma: What's a beaver?
Girl #2's mom: It's…what some people call the female genitalia.
Girl #2's grandma: Ohhh…your grandfather used to just call it a cunt.

San Francisco, California

Posted on June 12, 2018
Age and ageing, Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Family ties, Girls, Hair, Moms, Old folks, Questions, San Francisco, Vagina, Words

…Shouldn't You Be Dead by Now?

Grandmother: -reflected in glass pane next to a picture of teddy roosevelt-.
Grandson: -perturbed- nana, why are you in the picture?!

Louisville, KY

Overheard by: Sniggering Intern

Posted on June 12, 2018
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There Are So Few Good Roles for Latina Actresses