Girl #1: It would just never occur to me to get a massage to relax or de-stress, you know?
Girl #2 absentmindedly: That’s because you’re an alcoholic.
Seven Grand Whiskey Bar
Los Angeles, California
Girl #1: It would just never occur to me to get a massage to relax or de-stress, you know?
Girl #2 absentmindedly: That’s because you’re an alcoholic.
Seven Grand Whiskey Bar
Los Angeles, California
Chick #1: Are you drunk?
Chick #2: Just a little. I only had two drinks!
Chick #1: What about you?
Chick #3: No, I ate a pot brownie! I made them all by myself! I’m so proud!
O’Colly newsroom, Oklahoma State University
Oklahoma
Overheard by: The Designated Driver
Friend #1: It just gets yummier as you go from one shot glass to the next.
Friend #2: Which side do you start from?
Friend #1: It doesn’t matter.
Friend #2: … That doesn’t make sense.
Plano, Texas
Girl: May I have a Long Island Iced Tea?
Bartender: Sure.
80-year-old lady sitting at bar: Giiirl, I hope you took yo’ birf control today!
Klondike Kate’s
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Cols
Guy: I went drinking last night, and when I woke up this morning to go to my final I was still drunk!
Girl: Ugh, don’t you hate it when you get drunk and you’re not sober?
El Paso, Texas
Overheard by: Randi
Chick: Wow, Tyler, you are really drunk.
Drunk guy: Yeah, I’ve been drinking since church.
Sikeston, Missouri
Teen girl #1: Are you drinking tonight?
Teen girl #2: I’ve been drunk all day. I was doing shots in class.
Teen girl #3: I have four dollars! I told my mom I was going to McDonald’s. She’s so fucking stupid!
Prince Edward Island
Canadia
Dude #1: Let’s go somewhere else.
Dude #2: Why?
Dude #1: I’ve seen the midget. I’ve drunk his juice.
Dude #2: Yeah…
Casey’s, South Side
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Mom to 10-year-old son: I can’t wait until you’re 21 so that you can buy us beers.
T-Bones baseball game
Kansas City, Kansas
Overheard by: Teri
Girl to guy: You get the starch, condoms and Red Bull. I will get the rest.
Austin, Texas
