Drinking & drunks

Professor: No drinking and driving this weekend! No drugs! …and no babies.

Ball State University
Muncie, Indiana

Overheard by: Sara

Irishman to friend, huddling under bar's awning during massive downpour: And people wonder why we drink…

Dublin
Ireland

Overheard by: l_tau

Girl #1: So, yeah, when the cops like think you're kinda drunk or something, they'll get you to do the ABCs.
Girl #2: What? I can't even do that when I'm sober! I'll try now. A, b, c, d, e, f… then j, maybe?

High School Gym Class
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Myr Myr

Freshman ho #1: But… Are you, like, good at drunk driving?
Freshman ho #2: Oh, yeah… I’m, like, sooo good! I’ve been drunk driving, like, since I got my license.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/04/april-is-cruelest-month.html

Overheard by: newm

Little old lady: I’m not a Pina Colada type. Give me a Coors Light and a nice doobie and I’m good.

Women’s Gym
Studio City, California

Overheard by: urzzz

Drunk freshman: I love it here! Look, even the street sparkles!
Passing upperclassman: That’s broken glass.

Richmond, Virginia

Girl on bus: I've been trying to quit drinking and she was all like, “have some juice with me!” And then she pulls out a half gallon of vodka, and I'm all, “bitch, what you doing?”

Seattle, Washington

Tall gay 20-something male on cell: My niece died. I need a Fresca.

CVS
Boston, Massachusetts

Tough, burly, tattooed mom: C'mon, honey, you'll like it!
Tearful four-year-old boy: I don't wanna!
Tough, burly, tattooed mom: Everyone loves the beer store! (pulls boy into beer kiosk)

Collingswood Auction
Farmingdale, New Jersey

Overheard by: not EVERYONE

Guy #1, gesturing: …in a martini glass.
Guy #2: That's disgusting! Why did you do that?
Guy #1: Because he had a broken jaw.
Guy #2: I know, but why were you doing that? Community service?

Bus Stop
San Diego, California