Drinking & drunks

Guy #1, gesturing: …in a martini glass.
Guy #2: That’s disgusting! Why did you do that?
Guy #1: Because he had a broken jaw.
Guy #2: I know, but why were you doing that? Community service?

Bus Stop
San Diego, California

Underage girl, at 6 pm: Man, I knew I should’ve started drinking at 2!

Glengarry Highland Games

Overheard by: is it that boring?

Drunk guy: Everyone in this room should get hair extensions.


Overheard by: Meech

Guy #1: So, where can we get another guy like Brian to drink a lot of water?
Guy #2: Well, Phyllis is out of work.
Guy #1: Who’s Phyllis?
Guy #2: She’s this really good PR girl. Like a rotten tomato.


Overheard by: Sunny

Man: You don’t need that booze!
Woman: I know, but I’m getting it.
Man: Just don’t drink the fun out of it.

Edwardsville, Illinois

Overheard by: M

Little girl at checkstand: Mommy, I want to drink my soda out of a paper bag, just like daddy!

Lakeport, California

Overheard by: Corinna

Girl, walking across campus with friends: I think two beers and a shot is the perfect amount for that class!

University of Arizona

20‐something girl on cell: I had the malpractice ball this last weekend. It was in the Weisman Museum… kind of lame, not a lot of space. (pause) But I didn’t bring a flask this year, so it was a little conservative, definitely a limited amount of alcohol. (pause) Are you going home for Passover? (pause) Oh my, are you converting? (pause) Yeah, I want to know what this whole Jerry Springer photo thing is all about.


Overheard by: burrhead

Drunk guy to girlfriend: I care about you a lot. It sucks.

Park Tavern
Jersey City, New Jersey

Customer having lunch: Can I smoke at this table?
Waitress: Honey, you’re in Nevada. You can smoke, gamble, drink, screw and cuss. Just don’t kill nobody!

Bucket of Blood Saloon
Virgina City, Nevada

Overheard by: Philly Joe