Drinking & drunks

Guy #1: Do you think that street sign in the window is white trashy?
Guy #2: Dude, you are wearing a cowboy hat, a Rangers jersey and drinking from a German Stein, I don't think you need to worry about the sign.

Party
Long Island, New York

Drunk: Two of my three girlfriends just dumped me. I'm looking for replacements.
Cute blonde: Do you like beer?
Drunk: Yes.
Cute blonde: In your face?

Carlton
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: itookherhome

Drunk man to woman passing by: Fornication is evil! Thou shalt be kind to your neighbours!
Woman: Yeah, well, god built the Nevada desert and the Colorado River and then we came and built the Hoover Dam, leaving people without water or resources. So just by being here we're fucking over our neigbours.
Drunk man: Can I kiss you?

Outside The Flamingo
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Steph

Dude leaving party: Just remember we have one goal. We have one shared dream, people. It starts with “I” and ends with “no more motherfucking apartheid.”

Kalamazoo, Michigan

Drunk guy: It’s my birthday and I wanna hear some boobs clapping!

Davis, California

Overheard by: Liz

Half-drunk tourist girl: You’re lying! Nobody has all that happen in their life!
Half-drunk guy with NY accent: I’m from Brooklyn! We all live unbelievable lives!

Parker House Bar
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: annikee

Guy, mournfully: And then I go in and Colin is sitting there, taking shots of vodka by himself, in that pink dress…
Girl, nonplussed: Again?

Newark, Delaware

Overheard by: archie

Drunken, nostalgic girl #1: So, did you guys end up getting anywhere?
Drunken, nostalgic girl #2: No, I was thirteen!
Drunken, nostalgic girl #1: Yeah, but you didn’t do anything? Like, not even touch his dick?
Drunken, nostalgic girl #2: I don’t know, I was drunk!

Vincennes, Indiana

Overheard by: 202 Tavern Girl

Girl: So I asked him: “When are you going to come back for a reunion? I miss you!” and he was like: “I miss you so much I’ve had to replace you with alcohol.” That’s like, the biggest, best compliment ever! They should make a Hallmark card that says that.

West Lafayette, Indianapolis

Overheard by: Kolja

Guy #1: So he lit the shot on fire and when he went to take it, part of it got on his face and instead of swallowing, he spat it everywhere and it all caught on fire.
Guy #2: Yeah, I bet he got laid that night, though.
Girl: Where, in the burn unit?

Houston, Texas