Drinking & drunks

Professor: Okay, this appears to be advertising for a brand of malt liquor. Who here drinks malt liquor?
Only black guy in class: Me!
Professor, laughing: Okay, Martin drinks malt liquor.
Black guy: Brothers drink malt liquor!
Professor, laughing: That’s right, brothers drink malt liquor!

Anthropology class, UCLA
Los Angeles, California

Bartender: You again? I see you everywhere — you’re like a sewer rat.
Drunk guy: Well, I am an alcoholic.

Cedar Falls, Iowa

Overheard by: doe

Before Harry Hole Joined the Police Force

Sheepish-looking PhD student coming out of washroom: Oh yes! I wasn't taking a shower with a glass of chardonnay! By “wasn't” I mean “was”, by “taking a shower” I mean “taking a dump”, and by “glass” I mean “bottle”. (long pause, looking down the hall) I was taking a dump with a bottle of chardonnay!

University of Northern Norway
Norway

Skinny guy: I like the big girls because they're cleaner, and they buy you drinks.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/10/big-girls-you-are-beautiful.html

Overheard by: joe joe.

Professor: Okay, time to get back to class.
Student: But this conversation is so rewarding.
Professor: Sorry, but some of us have to go out drinking later tonight.

http://www.overheardatumbc.com

Girl #1: How come I always feel drunk whenever you're drunk?
Girl #2: I don't know.
Girl #1: I think we're drunk cycling together!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Respectable, middle-aged woman: I have considered becoming an alcoholic.

Devon
England

Overheard by: Jess

Professor: No drinking and driving this weekend! No drugs! …and no babies.

Ball State University
Muncie, Indiana

Overheard by: Sara

Irishman to friend, huddling under bar's awning during massive downpour: And people wonder why we drink…

Dublin
Ireland

Overheard by: l_tau

Girl #1: So, yeah, when the cops like think you're kinda drunk or something, they'll get you to do the ABCs.
Girl #2: What? I can't even do that when I'm sober! I'll try now. A, b, c, d, e, f… then j, maybe?

High School Gym Class
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Myr Myr