Education

Little girl, excitedly building snowman: Mommy, look, look! This could be his hat!
Mother: No, Shelly.
Little girl, dejectedly: But mommy…
Mother, exasperated: No! It's not even proportionate to the snowman!

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Only in Boston…

Brunette: So, are you gonna get some studying done?
Blonde: No, not really…
Brunette: So, you're here just to kill time?
Blonde: Yeah, to play.

Baillieu Library
University of Melbourne
Australia

Mover and shaker: I went to a military academy, I know about anal sex. I went to a military academy.

Austin, Texas

Professor, reading student midterm reviews of his teaching style: When asked the question, “what would help you understand the material better?” someone wrote “if you wore a thong.” My answer to that is, “how do you know I'm not?”
(class erupts in laughter)

University of Michigan, Dearborn

Overheard by: Nehal

Economics professor: I don't judge others' lifestyles. (pause) I mean…unless they are a total trainwreck.

Illinois State University

Spanish teacher: “Corona” means “crown,” but mainly it means “Corona.”

High School
Calgary
Canadia

Mom doing magazine quiz to teenage sons: Spanish can't be one of the world's top languages. The only Spanish-speaking country is Mexico.

Cincinnati, Ohio

Skinny ginger guy: Oh, don't over-egg the omelet!
Gorgeous girl: Uh… Omelets are mainly made of egg…?
Skinny ginger guy: Just because you wear glasses and go to university you think you're so smart. Well you're not. Because you're a girl! Nerrrrrrrrr!

Nottingham
England

Overheard by: Concerned_citizen

(professor starts to write on the board. The chalk breaks. Class laughs. Professor turns around and bumps into the desk. Class laughs harder)
Professor: Shut up! Shut up and listen to me! I am teaching you things and being enthusiastic! …much as I dislike each and every one of you!
Student: Oh man, I am so writing that down.

SUNY Potsdam
New York

Overheard by: minibab

Jock #1: I felt like such a whore today.
Jock #2: I can imagine.

Montevallo, Alabama