Dude on cell: Oh my god… I had the pork chop. It was like it was cut right off of Jesus’s left rib.
Orlando, Florida
Dude on cell: Oh my god… I had the pork chop. It was like it was cut right off of Jesus’s left rib.
Orlando, Florida
Professor: So, how did the baby boom come about?
Student: When a–
Professor: –You don’t need to actually walk me through it. In the late 1940s, everybody was becoming a mother. Okay, half of everybody.
University of North Florida
Jacksonville, Florida
Little girl, right before fireworks begin: Daddy, I can see perfectly through that tall man's head.
Walt Disney World
Orlando, Florida
Guy #1: I love getting Lisa* Taco Bell.
Guy #2: Why’s that?
Guy #1: It’s gonna get her fat! I’m going to get extra sour cream and she’s going to be all like: “Damn, this is delicious!” Meanwhile, she’ll be getting fat.
Kangaroo
Gainesville, Florida
Chick: Man, last time I had feathers left in my pants.
Gateway High School
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Pilbur
Man pushing wheelchair lady, singing: Handicap, handicap, oh handy handy handy…
Epcot Park, Disney World
Florida
Overheard by: Euggh
Girl: So, felching is when I rim you, right?
Guy: Something like that.
Girl: Is it like a frumpie? I think I’m more comfortable getting fucked in the ass by a girl than a guy. I mean, it’s like the oral thing — I’d rather lick a pussy while you fuck me than suck a dick.
Guy: Alright.
Girl: I can’t believe your neighbor knocked on your door to shut us up! That was too funny.
Guy: She’s British. She doesn’t really understand rough sex, just tea and finding her husband in her thongs.
Hop’s Grill and Bar
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: just trying to eat dinner without hearing the word ‘frumpie’
Woman on cell: So, wait, let me get this right: you’re saying that he wrote a book about his boat and then mailed it to himself at the wrong address?
Marathon, Florida
Overheard by: Chey
72-year-old lady: The last time I was carded buying alcohol I was 35 and pregnant.
Kohl’s
Dunedin, Florida
