Sorostitute: You know how I got my coke whore status?
Roommate: Ummm, how?
Sorostitute: I snorted a line off of Jared’s penis with a hundred dollar bill.
Roommate: Wow.
Sorostitute: That’s not that bad, is it?
Dinning hall, Florida State University
Tallahassee, Florida
Chick #1: Did you watch America’s Got Talent?
Chick #2: No.
Chick #1: There was this saxophone guy who was totally on crack or something.
Chick #2: Everybody on crack thinks they have talent.
Florida Mall
Orlando, Florida
Four-year-old: I'm not here to make friends!
Disney's Animal Kingdom
Orlando, Florida
Dude on cell: Oh my god… I had the pork chop. It was like it was cut right off of Jesus’s left rib.
Orlando, Florida
Professor: So, how did the baby boom come about?
Student: When a–
Professor: –You don’t need to actually walk me through it. In the late 1940s, everybody was becoming a mother. Okay, half of everybody.
University of North Florida
Jacksonville, Florida
Little girl, right before fireworks begin: Daddy, I can see perfectly through that tall man's head.
Walt Disney World
Orlando, Florida
Guy #1: I love getting Lisa* Taco Bell.
Guy #2: Why’s that?
Guy #1: It’s gonna get her fat! I’m going to get extra sour cream and she’s going to be all like: “Damn, this is delicious!” Meanwhile, she’ll be getting fat.
Kangaroo
Gainesville, Florida
Chick: Man, last time I had feathers left in my pants.
Gateway High School
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Pilbur
Man pushing wheelchair lady, singing: Handicap, handicap, oh handy handy handy…
Epcot Park, Disney World
Florida
Overheard by: Euggh
