And Flossing Doesn’t Seem to Have Helped

Chick #1: I have toothpaste on my crotch.
Chick #2: Uh… What?
Chick #1: I was brushing my teeth this afternoon and I got excited.

http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/2007/04/was-it-electric-toothbrush.html

Overheard by: natalie

Posted on March 3, 2018
Chicks, Gossip, Overheard at Western

I Don’t Care What That Judge Decided

Professor: Her motto was, ‘Forget the pill, it’s all God’s will.’ So nature had its way and this young lady got pregnant. And just so you know, I had nothing to do with it.

Philosophy lecture, Melbourne University
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: sleepy philosophy student

Posted on January 23, 2018
Australia, Gossip, Teachers

So Put That Thing Away

Five-year-old boy to passing stranger: I ain’t yo’ baby’s mama.

College Park, Maryland

Posted on January 16, 2018
Gossip, Kids, Maryland

This Is Just Like the Time You Confused Earl Grey and Chamomile

Football player to another: Fuck you, dude. These are spirit fingers, and these are jazz hands!

University of Colorado
Denver, Colorado

Posted on January 14, 2018
Colorado, Gossip, Jocks

I Hope to Be the Best Piece of Ash She’s Ever Had

Old hillbilly: I love my old lady so much, I told her that when I die, I want her to cremate me, put me in a douche bag and give me one more go ’round…

Athens, Georgia