Chick: Apparently, I spout cooter.
El Cajon, California
Overheard by: RizzleBizzle
Chick: Apparently, I spout cooter.
El Cajon, California
Overheard by: RizzleBizzle
Chick: Well, as I was writing this massive document I kept thinking about that thing about how you eat an elephant…
Dude: How?
Chick: One bite at a time.
Dude: Ahhh. You know how you bury a giraffe?
Chick: No, how?
Dude: You cut it up with a chainsaw.
Chick: [Silence.]Dude: I saw pictures from the zoo when they had to cut one up.
Chick: They took pictures?!
Dude: Yeah… I’m not sure why.
http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2007/03/overheard-short-play.html
Overheard by: mk
Little leaguer #1: My team is really good this summer!
Dad: Your team stinks. Your outfielder eats grass.
Little leaguer #2: Yes, but he’s going au natural. He also puts sunflower seeds in his ears.
Jacobs Field
Cleveland, Ohio
Girl #1: She still thinks he's gay.
Girl #2: But he isn't.
Girl #1, laughing: And we have proof.
Girl #2, laughing also: Yes we do!
University of Arizona
Overheard by: Whats the proof
Elderly woman #1: And all her chinaware was Royal Worcester!
Elderly woman #2, looking shocked: No! Really? You wouldn't tell by looking at her, would you?
Elderly woman #1, shaking head: No, you would not.
Rural Staffordshire
England
Chick: … And he was so dorky that he, like, mistook my ass for my vagina and he started fingering it, and I was like, ‘Oh, he’s a pro,’ but then I realized and was like, ‘… Oh…’
http://overheardatyale.blogspot.com/
Overheard by: overheardatyale
Girl leaving message on cell: … Anyway, some good news: I’m not pregnant! Yup! You should be shocked, right? Okay, talk to you later.
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/
Overheard by: anonymous
Queer #1: I bruised my pelvis once during sex. It was the last time I had sex with a woman. Remember?
Queer #2: Right.
Queer #3: I don’t know this story.
Queer #1: Well, to be more exact, I woke up to having sex with a woman. Or, rather, I regained consciousness to discover a woman fucking me. That was the same day as the bulldozer.
Queer #2: You don’t have to say anything else for this to be a perfect story.
Queer #3: Wait… A bulldozer?
Wine bar
Baltimore, Maryland
Tiny pregnant girl to friend: He has this mattress that has pee stains all over it, and he keeps blaming it on the dog! I'm like, “yeah, right!”
Target
York, Pennsylvania
Queer dad at the back of the line: Ohmigod! There's Rebeca, from cheerleading.
Woman friend: Oh yeah! I hate her, she's so perky.
Queer dad: And irresponsible, she always leaves her kids on the car when she goes anywhere.
Woman: Oh, really?
Queer dad: I mean, who leaves a top of the line Escalade with a smoking hot nine-year-old idling in the parking lot? Especially in this neighborhood!
Woman dad: That is so wrong!
Queer dad: I know!
Woman: No, that you said “smoking” hot nine-year-old.
Queer dad: Oh…
Dunkin Donuts
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Billy Splatts!
