Ad: Kathleen Turner Is… Bendy Vadge, P.I.!

Loud, stoned, drunk guy on train: Dude, I totally saw Melissa pee standing up before.
Loud, stoned, drunk girl: That is impossible! Seriously, that doesn't even make any sense! You'd get piss all over your leg!
Loud, stoned, drunk guy: No way, I saw her just take one leg out of her pants and prop it up against a tree, and it just shot down! She didn't get any anywhere!
Loud, stoned, drunk girl: Do you even understand female anatomy?! It doesn't work the same way as you! We can't do that! Melissa didn't do that!
Loud, stoned, drunk guy: Dude, if you can't pee standing up, then you've just got a bendy vag.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Wizzbiff

Posted on October 3, 2015
Body parts, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Girls, Guys, Illinois, Pee, Stoners, Train, Vagina

She’s Been Full of Herself Ever Since Daddy Warbucks Adopted Her

Girl: … And she put all of these articles about how awesome redheads are and how rare they are all over the door and stuck Post-it notes on them saying things like, ‘I am a genetic rebel!’

Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on September 17, 2015
Girls, Gossip, Illinois

She Was Extolling the Virtues Of Her HMO

Mother to son: I’m not sure, but I think grandma was high.

Union Station
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Seska

Posted on September 9, 2015
Default, Drugs, Family ties, Illinois, Moms, Public transportation, Weirdness

“Action” Might Be Overstating It a Bit

Girl: Wait, I got some action from Alex* once when he was drunk… Does that make me a predator?
Guy: No, guys don’t really mind being taken advantage of.
Girl: Well, because he did pass out on me…

Oak Park, Illinois

Overheard by: Erin

Posted on September 7, 2015
Default, Drinking & drunks, Girls, Guys, Illinois, Questions, Sex

But Not in That Slightly-Homoerotic Kirk Douglas Way

Ice cream lady behind counter: Spartacus?
Man running to get ice cream: I am Spartacus!

Oberweiss
Oak Park, Illinois

Posted on August 25, 2015
Default, Employees, Girls, Guys, Illinois, Names, Offers and requests, Questions

And Kept Me Awake by Leading “Expeditions” Into My Sock Drawer

Girl #1: I found that doll the other day.
Girl #2: What doll?
Girl #1: The Steve Irwin doll, you know, the one that used to look at me creepy while I was sleeping.
Girl #2: Ohhhh, that doll!

Bleeker’s Bowling Alley
Chicago, Illinois