Guy #1: I was the second person she ever had sex with.
Guy #2: What!?
Guy #1: I know! And it freaked me out! So I never called her again!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Big B
Guy #1: I was the second person she ever had sex with.
Guy #2: What!?
Guy #1: I know! And it freaked me out! So I never called her again!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Big B
Train conductor: For those of you who had too much to drink, could you please wake up long enough to present your ticket?
Chicago, Illinois
Philosophy professor: A crisp cravat always gets me hot.
Wesleyan University
Bloomington, Illinois
Overheard by: ..Really?
Cheerful guard examining passport photo: What, no smile?
Dour Canadian: No. In Canada we do not have to smile.
O’Hare International Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Possible transvestite: And I said, “Either you take a lie detector test at the American consulate or I'm packing my things and going!”
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Middle-aged matronly looking woman: Well, while we’re here I can get some of this stocking stuffer shit.
Walgreens
Chicago, Illinois
Whiny-voiced 20-something: My period showed up two days early and ruined my weekend plans with that guy I was seeing.
20-something with baby: My period showed up two weeks late, stuck me with this, and ruined my life. Pass me one of those shirts in a medium?
Springfield, Illinois
Overheard by: Katie F
Employee: Any plans that start with ‘knickerbockers’ and end with ‘amaretto’ sound great to me!
Barnes & Noble
Orland Park, Illinois
Overheard by: me, too
