Woman to crying toddler: Now, stop it, or that policeman over there will come and take you away!
Man: That’s right.
Woman: That’s what policemen do. They take little boys away.
Man: That’s right.
Outside the John Hancock Center
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: passerby-ing
Naked old man: You know, they say you really shouldn’t hang meats anymore.
Fully-clothed hipster: … Really?
YMCA locker room
Chicago, Illinois
Angry girl storming out of classroom: My mama ain’t raise no adolescent!
High school
Rockford, Illinois
Overheard by: Bre
Chick: That guy’s not a real bum — he has a laptop!
Brown Line
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Whitney Wrobel
Woman on cell: Wait, what? How does that work? Oh, okay — I was thinking of a different strap-on.
Chicago, Illinois
Old man holding up movie to old woman: How about this one?
Old woman, exasperation: You know I don’t like outer space!
Video store
Illinois
Little girl: Wouldn’t it be great if, instead of stinging you, bees rescued you from quick sand?
Brookfield, Illinois
Overheard by: Joe V
Girl on cell: Oh my god! I was wondering why my discharge was kinda brown!
L train platform, Brown line
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: *Tina Marie*
Chick #1: Look, I’m wearing orange!
Chick #2: Fuck you! You just did that to piss me off, didn’t you?!
Chick #1: Yeah…
Downers Grove, Illinois
Guy: Yeah, I just got back from church.
Girl: Oh, really? So, are you going to church to find patients or to find a girl?
Guy: Well, I was thinking more for the religious part.
Girl: Oh, I didn’t think about it that way.
Millstadt, Illinois
Overheard by: Robbie
