Man: You don't need that booze!
Woman: I know, but I'm getting it.
Man: Just don't drink the fun out of it.
Edwardsville, Illinois
Overheard by: M
Man: You don't need that booze!
Woman: I know, but I'm getting it.
Man: Just don't drink the fun out of it.
Edwardsville, Illinois
Overheard by: M
Girl to friend: I can’t believe I fell asleep next to your vagina. I woke up and my face was next to your brick wall. [Kisses friend.] I love your brick wall.
Caribou Coffee
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Bardley
Man to another, letting him board bus first: I always say, ‘Age before beauty.’
Bus driver: I always say, ‘Somebody get on the damn bus.’
Bus, Belmont Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Bardley
Small Mexican man in hot dog suit: Eat me, eat me, eat me, eat me, eat me.
20-ish chick waiting to cross street: No, thank you.
Hot dog man: Eat me, eat me, eat me, eat me!
20-ish chick: No, really — thank you, but I’ll pass. [Muttering] God, will this light ever change?!
Hot dog man: Eat me, eat me, eat me!
Wrigley Field
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Cubs Fan
Guy on cell: Hey… Rainy… Ummm, well, yeah I’ve kind of played with it, but not to fruition. Hold on, I’m on the L in Chicago. Hey, guys, Jeff* wants to know if you’ve ever masturbated while driving on a long car trip.
Friend #1: No.
Friend #2: No.
Guy on cell: Nick* and Joe* say no. Hey, um, I gotta go…
Chicago L
Illinois
Overheard by: J to the P
Ditzy woman: It would look more like Australia if it was an island, because Australia is an island… right?
Ditzy woman's daughter: I think that's the smartest thing that's ever been said in my presence.
Ditzy woman: Well, somebody in this family has to be brilliant.
Four-year-old boy: Dogs are kinda like vampires because they both have pointy teeth.
Harrisburg, Illinois
Loud guy on cell: Where you at? Did you make the stop? He went to jail yesterday? What? What time did you get locked up? Damn!
McDonald’s, Illinois Center
Chicago, Illinois
20-something girl to table of people: And I was like, “Whoa, mom–your nipples are like top hats!”
Kasey's Tavern
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Sara
Professor: Adams and Jefferson weren’t the only presidents to die on the Fourth of July. Does anyone know the third?
Student #1: Was it Monroe?
Professor: Yes, Monroe also died on the Fourth of July. Quite interesting, isn’t it?
Student #2: Is that why we celebrate the Fourth of July?
Liberal Ed floor, Columbia College
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Ready to graduate
Intercom: The moving walkway is ending.
Little boy: The moving walkway is pooping! Haha! Pooping!
Midway Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: morgz
