Guy with luggage: What’s the temperature tonight?
Guy without luggage: Two.
Guy with luggage: Two? Two! Why the fuck do people live here!?
Brown Line
Chicago, Illinois
Girl on cell: I just heard the most epic pickup line. Like, if Homer had known this pickup line it would have been all over The Odyssey.
Northwestern University
Illinois
Girl #1: How come I always feel drunk whenever you're drunk?
Girl #2: I don't know.
Girl #1: I think we're drunk cycling together!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Man with Mohawk on cell: Okay, so I'm not technically the father but there are 27 baby boa constrictors over here that all have Mohawks.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: cgt
Chick #1: Was she cute?
Chick #2: No, she was fugs! She looked like an anorexic bear. You know, like, at the circus? One of the ones that are tortured… And forced to wear party hats.
Red Line train
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: I totally know what you mean…
Children librarian, about girl scout troop outside: Um…they're throwing rocks at the windows.
Library
Suburbia, Illinois
Overheard by: martha
Drunk girl in bar during Rose Bowl: It's official–I'm going to be ovulating on my wedding day.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Double V
Blonde girl: Whats with the eye patch?
Girl with eye patch: Oh my god, I tried to take out my contact but it was already out, so I ended up peeling off my cornea or something!
Blonde girl: Ew! You should wear two contacts, so that doesn't happen again.
Carbondale, Illinois
Overheard by: screaming on the inside
Mother to toddler daughter: Would you rather I just say “testicles”?
Art Institute of Chicago
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Brian
