Girl: I’m not a nerd.
Boy: Yeah, you are.
Girl: Well, if I’m a nerd, you’re a nerd.
Boy: No, I’m not.
Girl: Yes, you are.
Boy: No. Being a nerd is not a transitive property!
University of Chicago
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: not a nerd
Host: Would you like a booth or table?
Young mom: A booth is fine.
Four-year-old: I don't want a booth!
Young dad: Hey, knock that off or you'll be eatin' out of the trash.
Orange County, California
Overheard by: Poofy
Four-year-old to mother: How do you kill a goat? With a gun?
Mother: Well…
Four-year-old, after epiphany: Or a sword!
Tacoma, Washington
Overheard by: Charlie G.
Weird kid: Your momma's so fat that… Chuck Norris. I win.
St. Joseph High School
Michigan
Eight-year-old boy to mother browsing meat counter at the grocery store: Mom, what's veal?
Mother: It's just another kind of meat.
Eight-year-old boy: But what kind of animal does it come from?
Mother, motioning to her chest area: Oh, I think it's from the lamb part of the cow.
Toronto
Canadia
Four-year-old boy using hand like pretend cell phone: Hello, police? We're at Target. You know the way? My babysitter's being real weird, can you come get her?
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania
Young girl from bathroom stall: Mom! There's no toilet paper in here!
Mother: I'd say that represents a failure in planning on your part.
Toronto
Canadia
Little girl: Mommy, can we have the monster beans? Mommy, look, they have monster beans, can we get the monster beans?
Mommy: Honey, I think that is the green giant.
Little girl: …or monster beans!
Dollar Tree
Nicholasville, Kentucky
Adorable eight-year-old girl: I would do anything for a bagel… except shoot someone.
Ardmore, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: was a hungry 8 yr old once too
