Which Is Why I'm Carrying This Dagger

Adorable eight-year-old girl: I would do anything for a bagel… except shoot someone.

Ardmore, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: was a hungry 8 yr old once too

Posted on May 20, 2011
Food, Kids, Pennsylvania, Philosophy, Violence

Interestingly, There's No Black-and-White Answer to That.

Five-year-old son to father: I wonder what zebra farts smell like?

The National Zoo
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Kat

Posted on May 14, 2011
Animals, Kids, Questions, Sensory experiences, Washington, DC

At Least Death Has a Job in This Economy.

Imaginative little boy to brother: That's evil's house, and then death comes walking out of it and he's like, “I hate my job.” And then he accidentally taps his wife on the head and is like, “noooo!”

London
England

Overheard by: Kaitlen

Posted on May 9, 2011
Death & dying, England, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Relationships, Weirdness

Remember Daddy's Cousin Chuckie?

Four-year-old: I wanna go in there!
Mother: The small mammal house?
Four-year-old, screaming: Small mammals!
Mother: Do you even know what small mammals are?
Four-year-old now, quiet and embarrassed: No.

The National Zoo
Washington, DC

Posted on March 22, 2011
Animals, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Questions, Washington, DC, Wishes

That's Not a Nice Way to Talk About the Bravo Network.

Eight-year-old boy to eight-year-old girl: You have to go to college! Otherwise you'll have to work in the poop factory!
Eight-year-old girl: There's no such thing as the poop factory!
Six-year-old brother: Yes there is! Remember?

Portland, Oregon

Posted on March 20, 2011
Advice, Education, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Oregon, Poop

Raise Your Hand If You Think He'd Have Hated Mass

Mother to eldest daughter: You can come have sushi with us for lunch on Sunday, but only if you go to mass with us too.
Eldest daughter: I don't think Jesus would approve.
Mother: It's fine. Jesus loved sushi.

Yorktown Heights, New York

Overheard by: Monty

Posted on March 18, 2011
Christianity, Food, Jesus, Kids, Moms, New York, Offers and requests

The Feminator Was a Surprisingly Popular Superhero

14-year-old boy, running down the hall after another: You're feminating me.

Newfoundland
Canadia

Posted on January 29, 2011
Canadia, Kids, Teens, Weirdness, Words

Save That for Therapy.

Five-year-old girl to hair brush: Mommy doesn't want me to buy you or to talk to you… That makes me sad.
Embarrassed mom: Come on sweetie, let's go home.
(kid keeps talking to hair brush, mom yanks it away)
Mom, leaving store: Now is not the time to talk to hair brushes!

North Carolina

Overheard by: Wondering why mom was embarrassed

Posted on January 27, 2011
Education, Feelings, Kids, Mental illnesses, Moms, North Carolina, Parenting

…I Don't Have Enough Energy to Go Look It Up.

Mother: Honey, you're not lazy.
Four-year-old son: Yes, I am!
Father, smiling: No, you're not.
Four-year-old son: I am! I am lazy! What does “lazy” mean?

Coral Gables, Miami

Posted on January 22, 2011
Compliments, Florida, Kids, Moms, Pride, Words

To Be Fair, Wouldn't You?

Supervisor, looking at sole of kid's shoe: Hey, is that a Hannah Montana shoe?
Seven-year-old kid: Yeah. I don't like Hannah Montana, though. I just bought these so I could step on her face all day.

Calgary
Canadia

Posted on January 2, 2011
About celebrities, Feelings, Kids, Questions

Kids