Five-year-old boy: I feel gay!
Dad: What?
Five-year-old boy: I feel gay!
Dad: No, you don’t.
Wal-Mart
Grand Blanc, Michigan
Five-year-old boy: I feel gay!
Dad: What?
Five-year-old boy: I feel gay!
Dad: No, you don’t.
Wal-Mart
Grand Blanc, Michigan
Frazzled mother: At Michigan State they don't even have parties. They're not going to want you at a party. You are not going to a party. There is no chance.
Hopeful twelve-year-old boy: Oh, there's a chance.
East Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: Cameron
Male student: So there was a hobo on the train and he sat next to me and he was like, “me no wah”. So I was like, “what?” and he just said “me no wah!” so I was really confused and then I realized I had my backpack, so I gave him a pen and a paper and he wrote “m-e n-o w-a-h.” So I was really mad and was like, “dude, that was supposed to clear things up,” but it didn't.
Female student: Word.
University of Michigan, Ann Arbor
Overheard by: Kelli
Middle aged man: Hey, Jesse! Wanna wrestle?
Shirtless young man: I'll wrestle you if you give me a Jägerbomb!
Middle aged man: You better hurry, we're running out!
Traverse City, Michigan
Male student: We were learning about harmanfadites in my psych class today.
Female student: What's that?
Male student It's when a person is born with boy and girl parts.
Female student: Nasty.
Male student: Yeah. I was wondering, if two of them have sex, are they both gay? Or lesbians?
Female student: I can't talk about this while I am eating.
Wayne State University
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: Jonson
Ditz to friend: He took me Facebook poking him as a romantic gesture!
TC Central High School
Michigan
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: So, this is totally random, but if a gay black man has anal sex, do you think he can see if he has shit on his dick when he’s done?
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #2: Uh…
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: How sick would that be? I mean, they’re black. Well, actually, they’re brown. And shit is brown, you know? So how can they tell?
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #2: I would hope they’d notice.
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: Think about it! Walking around with shit on your dick? Nasty.
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #2: Maybe that’s why some black people smell bad.
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: Oh my god! You’re so right. Ew! If I were a gay man, I’d never take it up the ass from a black guy.
530 Church Street
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Caryn
Professor: The best time to study geography is in the morning after you've done the “walk of shame.” It will help you to keep your mind off of what you've done.” (cracks up) That's good shit.
Geography Classroom
Michigan State
Brunette: I wish I could speak those sweet African languages.
Blonde: What sweet African languages?
Brunette: Ya know, the ones where they cluck at each other. Cluck cluck clickity clack cluck.
Blonde: Yeah! I know what you mean. Clack clack cluck cluck click cluck clacky clack. (laughs)
Brunette, laughing: I bet they just make stuff up!
Blonde: Yeah, dude! Clack clack clickity clacky clack clack cluck! AKA, wanna go get some cow…meat?
Brunette, laughing: You're retarded. I don't think anyone in Africa says shit like that.
Michigan
