Old lady: Do you want to drive?
Old hubby: I guess so. My eyes aren’t quite as blurry as they were.
Cadillac, Michigan
Overheard by: mags
Old lady: Do you want to drive?
Old hubby: I guess so. My eyes aren’t quite as blurry as they were.
Cadillac, Michigan
Overheard by: mags
Girl #1 in bathroom stall: My poop looks awesome! It has things in it! Come, look!
Girl #2 (waiting outside stall): No.
Girl #1: Come on!
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: Please?
Girl #2: No! I never will.
Girl #1: I just won't flush it and then you'll have to look.
Girl #2: You better flush that shit!
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Old guy to friend: He got a new girl who works in the sex industry… and you know his fantasy has always been two women. I told him it'd never happen, but apparently it did. His girl has a friend who was willing to play along…
Holland, Michigan
Husband: Can I have one of my pills?
Wife: Didn’t you just take two a little bit ago?
Husband: Just the two you told me I took.
Frankenmuth, Michigan
Large black male student to tiny white female student: Stretch marks are awesome! They make you look like a tiger! (makes tiger claw gesture) Raaar!
High School
Lincoln Park, Michigan
Overheard by: The teacher
Wife to husband who has been chatting with stranger: Who was that?
Husband: Remember those Dos Equis commercials with the most interesting man in the world?
Wife: Yes.
Husband: That was his antithesis.
Northern Michigan
Overheard by: Kaptain Equinox
Student: Well, sometimes you ask questions that have answers that might not be the answer you are looking for!
Professor: Are you calling me fat?
Michigan State University, Michigan
20-something girl with beer in hand to 20-something guy behind her: I recognize you!
20-something guy: Yeah! You puked on my car!
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: Sam
Drunk guy, walking into bathroom: Hey, you are at my pisser!
Sober guy at urinal: I didn't realize your name was “push to flush.”
Bar
Michigan
Overheard by: I wasn't looking
