Old man on cell: Are they suckling decently? (pause) You might as well get it over with and drown them, if you know what I mean. (pause) Well, yeah, but are they swallowing?
Michigan State University
Old man on cell: Are they suckling decently? (pause) You might as well get it over with and drown them, if you know what I mean. (pause) Well, yeah, but are they swallowing?
Michigan State University
Woman to five-year-old daughter in elevator: You're getting off at the wrong floor, sweetie. This is the wrong floor… The wrong floor… The wrong floor! God, do you ever listen to me?
Five-year-old daughter: I'm trying not to.
Mackinac Island, Michigan
Overheard by: laughing
Bro #1: Dude, now that you're here…
Bro #2: We can start making some fucking memories!
Michigan State University
Bimbette on phone, nonchalantly: So you lost your baby?
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Girl: Stop poking my love handles!
St. Joseph High School
Michigan
Social problems teacher: So what are some social problems that affect us today?
Female student: Murder?
Teacher: Yeah, that’s good. [writes it on the white board.] Any others?
Male student: Narcissism?
Teacher: I don’t quite understand…
Male student: Well if people are falling asleep all the time and they don’t know it…
Grand Rapids Community College
Grand Rapids, Michigan
A girl screams and begins running away.
Friend: It’s a chipmunk, you dumbass!
Girl, resuming original path: Oh.
Hubbard Lane
East Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: Jigga Mouse
Girlfriend: Have you ever touched another man’s armpit hair?
Boyfriend: No.
Girlfriend: Well, yours are really gossamer-y. If you shaved them off, you could weave a little swatch of, like, satin… And then you could make a quilt!
Boyfriend: Or a patchwork jacket!
Ypsilanti, Michigan
Little girl #1: This is my imaginary friend Helen.
Little girl #2: I have a girl named Lucy!
Little boy: I have a pair of scissors. Named… Mr. Scissors.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
