Hungover girl #1: I really feel like an ass.
Hungover girl #2: Why do you feel like an ass?
Hungover girl #1: Well I did throw a drink on someone.
Hungover girl #2, nodding: And got kicked out of the bar twice.
Wilmington, North Carolina
Archive for the ‘North Carolina’ Category
And You’re Not Even Drunk!
Whitey thug: I can’t listen to you anymore! You just ended a sentence with a motherfucking preposition!
Gas station
North Carolina
Overheard by: KommissarKrunch
Fucking Puritans
Confused guy on cell: What I don’t get is, what part of the country are there people like this? I mean, I draw the line at spitting in someone’s asshole!
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: whylime
Wanna Race?
Drunk girl puking in bathroom stall to drunk girl puking in stall next to her: It’s okay! I’m throwing up too!
Wake Forest University
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Is a Frilly Lace Thong Too Much to Ask?
Four-year-old boy: I said, all I want is underwear!
Banana Republic
Smithfield, North Carolina
Overheard by: Bryan
Is There Ever a Viable Reason for Riverdancing?
Guy to friend: Do you have a reason to riverdance on my testicles?
Boone, North Carolina
Stop Laughing — I’m Serious!
Chick #1: What is that? A rape whistle?
Chick #2, wearing whistle around neck: Yeah, it is! [Blows it loudly] I’m gonna rape you!
Cans Bar & Canteen
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: Devon
And You Know the Old Saying: “Where There’s Mexicans…”
Girl: I wonder why there are so many Japanese restaurants around here?
Guy: Probably because there are a lot of Mexican people living in this town.
Very Little Town
North Carolina
As Long As You Don’t Lie in the Same Bed Together, It’s All Good
Man: What does it say in the bible about punching your son in the face?
Starbucks
Durham, North Carolina
Overheard by: wondering the same thing myself
I’m Not Sure I’ve Heard This Version Of “Goldilocks and the Three Bears”
Teenage boy: She said his bazooka was too big for her funhole.
High School
North Carolina
Overheard by: aWkWaRd
