Woman #1: I have to return some things to Victoria's Secret.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: I don't like the way they smell.
Sandusky, Ohio
Overheard by: NOT a VS smeller
Instructor: I may have to open my kimono and give him access to my jewels. (entire class chuckles)
College Lecture
Dayton, Ohio
Overheard by: Mandi
Wal-Mart floor waxer: My grandma got bit twice on the leg. And they thought they were gonna have to amputate it. But then it magically healed.
Wal-Mart
Athens, Ohio
Overheard by: Lisa
Cashier: Did you find everything you were looking for?
Old lady: Yes. Actually, no! You don't have any vanilla frozen yogurt! You have every other flavor (getting worked up) I have a coupon for frozen yogurt! (waves it in cashier's face)
Cashier: Uh…I'm sorry! (sends a carryout to look for vanilla frozen yogurt)
Old lady: At least you had flat-iron chicken. You didn't have it last time. (glares)
Old lady's son, in a whisper: I'm glad you had flat-iron chicken, or I don't know what we would have done!
Springboro, Ohio
Overheard by: Never knew frozen yogurt was so important
Waitress: That comes with a side salad.
Woman at booth: I'll have a salad with ranch.
(10 minutes later)
Woman at booth: What is this?
Waitress: Your salad?
Woman at booth, loudly sobbing: I ordered a Caesar salad!
Waitress, at the top of her lungs: We have other salads! We have other salads! They are in the fridge!
Restaurant
Boardman, Ohio
Guy (looking around suspiciously): Yeah, well, it was a couple baseball bats really. Let's just say I was really in the game last night, so to speak.
Beachwood Place Mall
Beachwood, Ohio
Overheard by: Just Buying Votives, Sir
Middle aged, balding psych professor disproving “empty nest” theory: Now, when you leave the house your parents are free to run around the house naked, and fuck on the kitchen table! (pauses) Your parents like to have sex!
Psychology Class, Youngstown State University
Ohio
Overheard by: Carmen
Gay male flight attendant: If you'll be requiring wheelchair assistance when we get to Cleveland, please remain seated. Because, if you stand up, we'll assume you've been healed by the Holy Spirit and no longer need our help.
Passengers: (laughter)
Flight attendant: And please keep your seatbelts fastened until we've reached the gate and come to a complete stop.
(man in front row unbuckles his belt)
Flight attendant: Stop it, cheater!
Southwest Airlines Flight
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Erica
Girl sitting at desk: I've got to pee. I've got to pee. Urine needs to come out of my uterus.
Dayton, Ohio
Overheard by: LC
