So Why Would You Want to Be a Middle-School Nurse?

Tall woman on cell: It's not like I wanted to do it either, but sometimes you just have to grab her, spread her legs, and shove the tampon in there. I mean it's part of the job after all.

Dayton, Ohio

Overheard by: I hope she gets hazard pay!

Posted on June 24, 2009
Body parts, Health & Hygiene, Jobs & Careers, Ohio, On the phone, Weirdness, Wishes, Women

It's Rare to Find a Young Man Who Thinks That Far Ahead

Five-year-old boy: Hey, I got an idea! Let's get naked!
Visiting adult friend: Yeah? And then what?
Five-year-old boy: We'll sit in the street!

Mason, Ohio

Overheard by: Rachel

Posted on June 16, 2009
Clothes, Default, Friends, Guys, Kids, Ohio, Questions

A Small But Important Distinction.

Daughter, about cousin: Does he want to give me a ride?
Dad: No, he wants you to ride him.

North Canton, Ohio

Posted on April 17, 2009
Dads, Default, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Ohio, Questions, Words

Stay Far Away from the Octomom, Dear Reader

Girl to friend: Then she sends him an e-mail saying that she wants his baby inside her. Talk about mixed messages.

Fred's Diner
Akron, Ohio

Overheard by: Adam

Posted on April 10, 2009
Default, E-mail, Family ties, Girls, Ohio, Restaurants, Weirdness

…After Tuna Wrestling in Them.

Woman #1: I have to return some things to Victoria's Secret.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: I don't like the way they smell.

Sandusky, Ohio

Overheard by: NOT a VS smeller

Posted on March 28, 2009
Clothes, Default, Names, Ohio, Questions, Weirdness, Women

At This Point in My Life, They're Semi-Precious

Instructor: I may have to open my kimono and give him access to my jewels. (entire class chuckles)

College Lecture
Dayton, Ohio

Overheard by: Mandi

Posted on March 8, 2009
Clothes, Colleges & Universities, Default, Employees, Euphemisms, Geography, Ohio

Lyle Thinks People Can Hear Him Over His Floor Buffer

Wal-Mart floor waxer: My grandma got bit twice on the leg. And they thought they were gonna have to amputate it. But then it magically healed.

Wal-Mart
Athens, Ohio

Overheard by: Lisa

Posted on February 13, 2009
Body parts, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Family ties, Malls, Ohio

She Keeps a Pearl-Handled Revolver in Her Clutch for Just Such Occasions

Cashier: Did you find everything you were looking for?
Old lady: Yes. Actually, no! You don't have any vanilla frozen yogurt! You have every other flavor (getting worked up) I have a coupon for frozen yogurt! (waves it in cashier's face)
Cashier: Uh…I'm sorry! (sends a carryout to look for vanilla frozen yogurt)
Old lady: At least you had flat-iron chicken. You didn't have it last time. (glares)
Old lady's son, in a whisper: I'm glad you had flat-iron chicken, or I don't know what we would have done!

Springboro, Ohio

Overheard by: Never knew frozen yogurt was so important

Posted on January 19, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Family ties, Food, Guys, Ohio, Old folks, Questions, Women

How You Know It's Time for a Vacation

Waitress: That comes with a side salad.
Woman at booth: I'll have a salad with ranch.
(10 minutes later)
Woman at booth: What is this?
Waitress: Your salad?
Woman at booth, loudly sobbing: I ordered a Caesar salad!
Waitress, at the top of her lungs: We have other salads! We have other salads! They are in the fridge!

Restaurant
Boardman, Ohio

Posted on January 15, 2009
Default, Employees, Food, Names, Ohio, Questions, Restaurants, Women

Wasn't Much of a Game for the Other Guy, If You Follow Me

Guy (looking around suspiciously): Yeah, well, it was a couple baseball bats really. Let's just say I was really in the game last night, so to speak.

Beachwood Place Mall
Beachwood, Ohio

Overheard by: Just Buying Votives, Sir

Posted on November 29, 2008
Default, Guys, Malls, Ohio, Weirdness, Words