Why They Only Buy Button-Down Shirts

Mother admonishing her child for sticking his head through the bars in a fence: You do not put your head through anything. Ever.

Disney World
Florida

Overheard by: Becca

Posted on September 22, 2015
Advice, Body parts, Default, Florida, Moms, Parenting, Tourist attractions

See Their “My Child Is an Honor Student at Bitchassfaggot Elementary” Sticker?

Grandma, after car cuts bus off: Bitchassfaggot.
Daughter: Mom!
Grandma: Well, that's what they are!

Public Transit
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Posted on September 17, 2015
Family, Insults, Minnesota, Parenting

Then We Have a Newfound Admiration for P.S.- I Love You

Mother holding DVD box to two tween kids: No, we can't get this one, it has too much (whispers) anal sex.

Best Buy
Calgary
Canadia

Posted on August 31, 2015
Backdoor, Canadia, Default, Moms, Parenting, Shopping, Stores

That Dog from the Old Navy Commercials?

Mom to adult daughter: Now what you do is you pick an aisle to go down that you think has magic at the end of it.

Dutchess County, New York

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Posted on August 25, 2015
Advice, Family, Girls, Magic, Moms, New York, Parenting

We Won't Talk About Liam Ever Again, Okay?

Five-year-old girl: I think we got almost all of the blood out, mommy. You know, Liam's blood? We got almost all of it out of the sheets. That was a lot of blood.
Mom: Yes we did, honey.

Rest Stop,Turnpike South
New Jersey

Overheard by: TM

Posted on August 22, 2015
Cleanliness, Kids, Moms, New Jersey, Parenting, Sensory experiences

Stop Being Black at the Store!

Mom to child yelling and running around: Quit it! You embarrassin' me in front of the white folk!

Memphis, Tennessee

Overheard by: A white folk

Posted on August 11, 2015
Kids, Moms, Parenting, Race, Tennessee

In Our Family, We Get Our Pornography from the Internet

Boy, holding bodice-ripper romance novel: Dad, is this a book for fifth-graders?
Distracted father: No. Put it back.
Boy: What is it?
Distracted father: Hardcore pornography. Put it back.

Fairwood, Washington

Overheard by: he was so hopeful

Posted on August 10, 2015
Books, Dads, Etiquette, Kids, Parenting, Porn, Questions, Washington

As You'd Know If You Ever Watched TV With Me

Two-year-old: Waaaaah!
White trash mom: You want mommy to push your stroller?
Two-year-old: Waaaaah!
White trash dad: You wanna go ten feet under?!
White trash mom: Honey, it's six feet.

Sears
Nashua, New Hampshire

Overheard by: jefe

Posted on August 9, 2015
Compare and contrast, Dads, Death & dying, Default, Kids, Moms, Murder, New Hampshire, Offers and requests, Parenting, Stores, Weirdness

I Still Can't Eat Shirred Eggs

Grungy young man, after loudly prattling on about drinking 12 Smirnoffs a day, weed, and massage therapy: I didn't believe in the inner-spiritual plane until I saw my unborn child's soul whisked away.

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Anon Y. Mouse

Posted on August 8, 2015
California, Drinking & drunks, Druggies, Drugs, Drunks, Kids, Parenting, Words

That's What You Said About Uncle Walter!

Little girl: Mommy, can I have a bubble bath?
Mother: No, it makes your vagina hurt.

Plantation, Florida

Overheard by: i guess that's a valid reason.

Posted on July 29, 2015
Bathing, Florida, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Parenting, Vagina

Parenting

Stop Being Black at the Store!

That's What You Said About Uncle Walter!