Dad, changing son's diaper: Why don't you want to wear a diaper? You want to run around naked and piss and poop all over the floor?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: What are you, an anarchist?
New Jersey
Dad, changing son's diaper: Why don't you want to wear a diaper? You want to run around naked and piss and poop all over the floor?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: What are you, an anarchist?
New Jersey
Mommy: Let's not attack mommy with a fork.
Salem, Oregon
Overheard by: lauraf
Shorter kid playing basketball to taller kid: Your dad bought your mom at Ikea!
Watertown, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Ariel
Working-class hippie: Oh, I have another porn story!
Foreign hippie: The one about your mom?
Working-class hippie: No, no, this one's about Matt*–my surrogate father.
Amherst, Massachusetts
16-year-old: Mom, if you don't have herpes, why'd I find Valtrex in your purse?
Mother, seriously: I got Valtrex from the eye doctor for my yeast infection, Kim*.
Illinois
Little boy: Mommy, can we go back to the giant trampoline where you said you saw sexy daddy?
Sedona, Arizona
Overheard by: J
Young son, after burping loudly: I burped!
Father: Does it smell like baloney?
Young son: No…?
Father: Then you're not a man yet!
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Big D.
Overweight mom, walking away from grave, to young sons: If you don't start behaving, you are going to be buried here.
Arlington National Cemetery
Arlington, Virginia
Student #1: My friend's mom didn't let him watch The Little Mermaid because she was half naked.
Student #2: Yeah, Ariel was such a ho-bag.
Student #1: You know she just wanted those legs so she could spread 'em.
Loma Linda, California
Guy: My parents seem fake. My parents' friends seem really really fake.
Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas
