Frat guy #1: So my mom bought me two new polos. One is blue with pink, and the other is orange and green. But I already have one that's orange and green.
Frat guy #2: Dude, I'll take it.
Frat guy #1: Nah, I think I'm gonna trade it to Duke for some pot.
Virginia Tech
Four-year-old girl being dragged away by mother: I'll kill you! I'll kill you!
West Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Juanito
Overexcited boy in cafe: Mum, mum, mum! Can I play with my new toy? Can I? Can I? Can I?
Disinterested mum: Sure.
Overexcited boy, holding toy: Look! I'm holding my winkle. And I'm peeing. I'm peeing all over the drinks. There's wee everywhere!
Disinterested mum: No, there isn't.
Kingston-Upon-Thames
England
Overheard by: Ben
17-year-old mom: And she thought that you were my mom!
18-year-old friend, gesturing to baby: Wait… so is this your sister or my grandchild?
Northampton, Massachusetts
Mom: Nathan, stop it! Stop it! Get ov– [Nicely] Come over here, Nathan…
Misbehaving boy: Nooo! I know you’re going to spank me!
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Glad she’s not my mom
Teenage daughter: Mom, I have a plan for my future.
Mother: And what's that?
Teenage daughter: Save someone's life so they are indebted to me and will buy me the complete Twilight Zone boxed set.
Mother: Between this and your brother who I haven't seen in four days, I don't think I screwed up at all.
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
Overheard by: Julia
Mother admonishing her child for sticking his head through the bars in a fence: You do not put your head through anything. Ever.
Disney World
Florida
Overheard by: Becca
Grandma, after car cuts bus off: Bitchassfaggot.
Daughter: Mom!
Grandma: Well, that's what they are!
Public Transit
Minneapolis, Minnesota
