That, or the Mescaline Is Finally Kicking In.

Man with Mohawk on cell: Okay, so I'm not technically the father but there are 27 baby boa constrictors over here that all have Mohawks.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: cgt

Posted on May 13, 2023
Animals, Family ties, Guys, Hair, Illinois, On the phone, Parenting

But With Slightly Less Dancing

Woman to girl: What exactly is a zombie? My son wants to know. Is it like a ghost?
Girl: A zombie is the living dead. A ghost is just a spirit, while a zombie is the dead body.
Woman: Like Michael Jackson?
Girl: Yes, like Michael Jackson.

Yarmouth, Maine

Overheard by: Jade

Posted on April 21, 2023
About celebrities, Compare and contrast, Girls, Maine, Parenting, Questions, Wishes, Women, Zombies

Having a TV on Every Seat Is Pretty Damn Great

Six-year-old girl: Mum, remember when we went on that airplane?
Distracted mum: Mm-hmm?
Six-year-old girl: Was that paradise?

Train
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Wishing I could go holiday there

Posted on April 18, 2023
Australia, Happiness, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Questions, Train

Tonight on The Real Single Moms Of New Jersey

Tough, burly, tattooed mom: C'mon, honey, you'll like it!
Tearful four-year-old boy: I don't wanna!
Tough, burly, tattooed mom: Everyone loves the beer store! (pulls boy into beer kiosk)

Collingswood Auction
Farmingdale, New Jersey

Overheard by: not EVERYONE

Posted on March 29, 2023
Drinking & drunks, Education, Kids, Moms, New Jersey, Parenting, Wishes

I'm Too Tired to Hold My Sphincters Shut

Girl: We need to go steal more diapers from Target.

Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas

Posted on March 23, 2023
Crimes, Moms, Parenting, Shopping, Texas

Guess Which One's the Good Cop?

Six-year-old girl: Dad, I want to see snow!
Six-year-old girl's twin: Me toooo!
Dad: But girls, it doesn't snow down here–you have to go up north for that.
Six-year-old girl: Then let's go up north!
Six-year-old girl's twin: To the North Pole!
Dad: Yeah! But you know what, mom won't let us.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Posted on February 1, 2023
Dads, Family ties, Kids, Louisiana, Parenting, Siblings, Weather, Wishes

Tell Anyone, And I'll Burn You With This Acid Exfoliant

Guy #1: What is that?
Guy #2, holding sunscreen: Oh, it's sport sunscreen. My mom made bring it.
Guy #3: Dude. Why do you have so many ointments?
Guy #2: The back of my legs get burnt.
Guy #1: You moisturize?

Canada's Wonderland
Vaughan, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Shan

Posted on January 27, 2023
Body parts, Canadia, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Parenting, Questions

Stop It, Lady, You’re Making the Scientologists Look Right

Mom to five-year-old son who is standing quietly: Settle down before I have to give you another pill!

Line for a theme park ride
Florida

Overheard by: Kim

Posted on January 13, 2023
Florida, Moms, Parenting

Her Idol Is Martha Stewart

Dad, seeing his little girl spit in a soda bottle: This is disgusting, nobody will want to drink from it now.
Little girl: I know, that's why I did it.
Dad: That's not nice. Smart, but not nice.

Pumpkin Farm
Half Moon Bay, California

Posted on January 6, 2023
California, Compare and contrast, Dads, Default, Girls, Kids, Parenting

So I’m Just Going to Assume It’s Jesse Jackson

Lady #1: … And I don’t even know who the daddy is!
Lady #2: That’s hilarious!

B. Dalton – College Square Mall
Cedar Falls, Iowa

Overheard by: Darcy

Posted on January 1, 2023
Iowa, Ladies who lunch, Parenting, Pregnancy

Parenting