RA: You guys went stripping without me?
Swarthmore College
Swarthmore, Pennsylvania
RA: You guys went stripping without me?
Swarthmore College
Swarthmore, Pennsylvania
Preppy cutie, about steroided-up jock: Oh my god! He just winked at me!
Sarcastic friend: You sure it's not a twitch?
Preppie cutie: Your mom has a twitch! That's how she had you!
(friends stare)
Friend: What?!
El Paso, Texas
Overheard by:
Old man: You got bats in your belfry?
Jaded 20-something: Yeah, I don't know what I've got in my belfry…
Jersey City, New Jersey
Four-year-old to mother: How do you kill a goat? With a gun?
Mother: Well…
Four-year-old, after epiphany: Or a sword!
Tacoma, Washington
Overheard by: Charlie G.
Large American girl: So I asked him, “what's your problem?”
British girl: What did he say?
Large American girl: He said I was too fat.
British girl: Oh…
Large American girl: Motherfucker doesn't realize that big is beautiful.
Drunk British guy behind them: That's a whole lotta big! Chub, chub, chub!
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Screechy woman: We need to figure out what the frack we're doing for Canada day!
Quiet man: Probably sit around and watch the fireworks.
Screechy woman: Noooo, that's such a waste!
Quiet man: (silence)
Screechy woman: I have the day off, yeeeaahhh!
Quiet man: (silence)
Screechy woman: Do you think pigs would eat other pigs?
Quiet man, after long pause: I really don't know.
London
Canadia
Overheard by: Watcher of Fireworks
Sewing machine shop customer #1: How often should I get my machine serviced?
Sewing machine shop customer #2: Gosh, I've never had my machine serviced!
Sewing machine shop owner: You are not a lady!
http://www.violaraptor.co.uk/2011/06/quotebook-january-may-2011/
Overheard by: Raptor
Guy #1: So how was work?
Guy #2: I didn't go.
Guy #1: Oh, take a day off, did you?
Guy #2: Well, I went to Erin*'s house to see if she wanted to talk to my boss about getting a job but she was still asleep, and she looked cute, so I joined her.
Guy #1: Good excuse.
Bayonne, New Jersey
