College guy fighting with his girlfriend: What? Do you want me to tell you that my ex-girlfriend treated me like a Greek god? 'cause she did.
(girlfriend storms up the street)
College guy: Wait, uh, come back!
Burlington, Vermont
College guy fighting with his girlfriend: What? Do you want me to tell you that my ex-girlfriend treated me like a Greek god? 'cause she did.
(girlfriend storms up the street)
College guy: Wait, uh, come back!
Burlington, Vermont
Girl: I wonder why there are so many Japanese restaurants around here?
Guy: Probably because there are a lot of Mexican people living in this town.
Very Little Town
North Carolina
Girl to ex-boyfriend: You're dating someone already?
Guy: Yeah, we're not together anymore. I can date whoever I want!
Girl: So…do you think you'll stay with her for a long time?
Guy: Well, do you plan on breaking up with someone when you start dating them?
Orlando, Florida
Gay goth kid: Diana Ross, what are you doing in my mouth?
Dunkin Donuts
Worcester, Massachusetts
Overheard by: hootinanny
Undergrad, explaining why he can't answer a question: I'm just tired today. I'm sorry.
Very old professor, non-native English speaker: You are tired?
Student: Yes, I'm sick.
Very old professor: What disease do you have?
Student: I…uh, it's just a cold.
Very old professor: Yes, a cold is not considered disease. You are healthy. You are alive!
Classroom, University of Colorado
Boulder, Colorado
20-something girl: When you go pee first thing in the morning, do you ever make a bunch of noises and you're not sure if they 're coming from your hoo-haw or your ass?
Friend: Umm…no.
20-something girl: Yeah, me neither.
University of Missouri
Columbia, Missouri
Girl #1: How come I always feel drunk whenever you're drunk?
Girl #2: I don't know.
Girl #1: I think we're drunk cycling together!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
30-something male student to teacher: I keep having sex with these girls, and I go for 30 minutes… or sometimes and hour. They don't come. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with them?
Female professor, confidently: It sounds like you're rubbing 'em raw!
Community College
Tulsa, Oklahoma