Questions

College guy fighting with his girlfriend: What? Do you want me to tell you that my ex-girlfriend treated me like a Greek god? 'cause she did.
(girlfriend storms up the street)
College guy: Wait, uh, come back!

Burlington, Vermont

Crazy guy at bus stop to young woman passing: Hey, girl, what's going on?
(girl passes without saying anything) Yeah, that's my girl right there!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Emily

Girl: I wonder why there are so many Japanese restaurants around here?
Guy: Probably because there are a lot of Mexican people living in this town.

Very Little Town
North Carolina

Little girl: Mom, what’s a prostitute?
Mother, nervous: Uh, a woman who does extreme cuddling for money.
Little girl: Extreme cuddling X Games?!

Denver, Colorado

Girl to ex-boyfriend: You're dating someone already?
Guy: Yeah, we're not together anymore. I can date whoever I want!
Girl: So…do you think you'll stay with her for a long time?
Guy: Well, do you plan on breaking up with someone when you start dating them?

Orlando, Florida

Gay goth kid: Diana Ross, what are you doing in my mouth?

Dunkin Donuts
Worcester, Massachusetts

Overheard by: hootinanny

Undergrad, explaining why he can't answer a question: I'm just tired today. I'm sorry.
Very old professor, non-native English speaker: You are tired?
Student: Yes, I'm sick.
Very old professor: What disease do you have?
Student: I…uh, it's just a cold.
Very old professor: Yes, a cold is not considered disease. You are healthy. You are alive!

Classroom, University of Colorado
Boulder, Colorado

20-something girl: When you go pee first thing in the morning, do you ever make a bunch of noises and you're not sure if they 're coming from your hoo-haw or your ass?
Friend: Umm…no.
20-something girl: Yeah, me neither.

University of Missouri
Columbia, Missouri

Girl #1: How come I always feel drunk whenever you're drunk?
Girl #2: I don't know.
Girl #1: I think we're drunk cycling together!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

30-something male student to teacher: I keep having sex with these girls, and I go for 30 minutes… or sometimes and hour. They don't come. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with them?
Female professor, confidently: It sounds like you're rubbing 'em raw!

Community College
Tulsa, Oklahoma