Drunken, nostalgic girl #1: So, did you guys end up getting anywhere?
Drunken, nostalgic girl #2: No, I was thirteen!
Drunken, nostalgic girl #1: Yeah, but you didn’t do anything? Like, not even touch his dick?
Drunken, nostalgic girl #2: I don’t know, I was drunk!
Vincennes, Indiana
Overheard by: 202 Tavern Girl
Loud, obnoxious, pregnant girl in a skirt: I’m not wearing any underwear.
Friend, sarcastically: Aren’t you afraid your baby’s going to fall out or something?
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/275491256/thats-why-she-carries-glad-bags.html
Overheard by: what not to expect when you’re expecting
Skater guy: I’m not into the unibutt.
Friend: The what?
Skater guy: You know, it’s like a unibrow, except a butt.
Friend: What are you talking about?
Skater guy: I am just giving my commentary on how style has affected my life.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/05/i-need-something-that-accentuates-crack.html
Overheard by:
Girl: So I asked him: “When are you going to come back for a reunion? I miss you!” and he was like: “I miss you so much I’ve had to replace you with alcohol.” That’s like, the biggest, best compliment ever! They should make a Hallmark card that says that.
West Lafayette, Indianapolis
Overheard by: Kolja
Guy #1: Is he good at sex?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy #2: Wow. I’m surprised.
Girl: Honestly, I was too.
San Francisco, California
Soldier: What is that thing?
Passenger #1: An iPhone.
Passenger #2: Man, where the hell have you been?
Soldier: Iraq.
Flight from Minneapolis to Pittsburgh
Teen cashier at checkout: Are you listening to music on an iPod?
Geriatric customer: It’s an iPhone.
Teen cashier: Dude, you’re ballin’.
Columbus, Indiana
Overheard by: Hoosier
Excited student: I got a B+ on my Nietzsche paper!
Friend: The one based on a Dungeons & Dragons joke?
Auraria Campus
Denver, Colorado
Overenthusiastic principal: So, where’d ya guys go for lunch? Huh?
Jaded student (indicating Subway cup): I ate fresh.
Principal: Did you go the 6 inch route? Or the 12 inch?
Student: I, uhhh… 6.
Principal, grinning: Don’t worry, Shane* -I think you’re man enough to take a 12-inch.
Livingston, Montana
Professor: How does female humor differ from that of males?
Student: Women don’t have the luxury to be funny.
Stanford, California
Overheard by: fliushkin
