Tween boy with arm around girlfriend: So, he actually tried to use my phone to call Hitler…
Wisconsin
Man: Yeah, so the whole night he kept telling us that he had trapped this “goblin” and had locked it under the stairs. So finally, at the end of the night, we went to go check, and found that he had locked a midget in the crawlspace.
Boston, Massachusetts
Woman: How is that anything like bathing in holy water?
Man: Well, you know… it was wet!
Toronto
Canadia
Teacher holding VCR remote control: I keep hitting play, this stupid thing won't work. Must need new batteries.
(changes batteries)
Teacher: Damn thing still won't work, you'd think they would buy machines that work, how are you supposed to learn with such crappy materials?
Student in front row: Ummm… Is that the tape on top of the VCR?
Teacher: Goddamn it!
Manchester, New Hampshire
Woman #1: Have you ever looked at your hymen?
Woman #2: No, and neither have you, because you're no longer a virgin.
Woman #1: Yes, I have! It's that little flap of skin at the top.
Woman #2: That's your clitoris, and you're an idiot.
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
Girl, seeing Palestine poster: Who do you go for?
Guy: What?
Girl: You know, between Israel and um, Pakistan.
Guy: You mean Palestine?
Girl: Whatever. Which one is doing the bad stuff?
Guy: They both are…
Girl: Yeah, I can never decide.
Sydney University
Australia
Overheard by: Don't hurt yourself, honey.
Loud girl to boy: Sorry, I didn't listen… You know, I just stared out of the window and for a second thought, “wait a minute, I know that person”–only to realize it was my reflection! Does that happen to you sometimes?
Hamburg
Germany
Overheard by: Staring at my own reflection in disbelief
Student, raising hand: I can't read…
Professor: I'm sorry.
San Francisco State University
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: The Only One Laughing?
Asian bimbo #1, filling out apartment application: How do you spell “roommate”?
Asian bimbo #2 : Well… If it's just one person, it has one “m”. It it's two or more, two “m's”
UC Riverside
California
Overheard by: Sophya
Professor: Here you are, every day, sitting in this little cave which is evolutionary very stupid. You're not reproducing while you are in here. You aren't even trying to… Well, maybe that's not true.
Psychiatric Physiology Class
Pomona, California
Overheard by: Whats He talking about again???
