Everything He Knows About Americans He Learned from Watching Roseanne Reruns

Little boy, pointing to tourist: Mom! I can't get on because the American will eat me!

Philippines

Posted on June 26, 2023
Asia, Fears, Kids, Moms, Parenting

Nobody Even Pretends to Understand U.S. Politics

Teacher: So, you have two teams. Let's make a team name. Like…the red team and the green team, or the lion team and the tiger team. What's your team name?
Ten-year-old boy: Obama team. (team members nod)
Teacher: Uh, okay. (to other team) So, are you guys the McCain team?
Ten-year-old girl: No! (whispered consultation with team members) Blue team.

English School
Gifu
Japan

Posted on February 24, 2023
Animals, Asia, Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Kids, Names, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teachers

The Schoolhouse Rock That Was Too “Edgy” for the U.S.

Math teacher: Use the ratio test if you can expect to cancel out many many factors, like a happy schizophrenic child flailing his factor-canceling-crowbar.

Philippines

Posted on November 17, 2021
Asia, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Mental illnesses, Teachers

…I Was Thinking Of a Nice Outing to Pottery Barn.

Girl: Booze!
Masculine gay dude: Fuck, yeah. I just finally finished my antibiotics. I'm gonna go fall off a stripper stage into some tits or somethin'.
Straight friend: Uhhh.

Bangkok
Thailand

Posted on August 3, 2021
Asia, Drinking & drunks, Fag hags, Maladies, Porn, Queers, Rack, Sexuality

One Of the Reasons We Came to Thailand.

Girl #1, looking at picture: Oh my gosh! Look, the first aider is totally judging her. If I was passed out from crack, I would so not wanna be judged.
Girl #2: Oh, I know, totally!

Thailand

Posted on May 13, 2021
Asia, Compare and contrast, Default, Drugs, Girls, Offers and requests

You're Not Writing Your Own Vows, Are You?

Person #1: What's that movie with Tom Hanks and the volleyball?
Person #2: Castaway.
Person #1: Oh, I'm so bored… You're like the volleyball to me. I don't necessarily like you, but you're there and I'm alone.

Guam

Posted on June 15, 2020
Asia, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Guys, Movies, Questions

…I Allowed the Holy Spirit Into My Life.

Disgruntled freshman girl #1: Ugh, I hate that guy. He is like, you know, so… Ugh!
Disgruntled freshman girl #2: I know, right?
Rude sophomore guy, interrupting: Oh, me and him? We're like porn buddies!
(awkward silence from girls)
Rude sophomore guy: What? That was like, before.

Cainta
Rizal
Philippines

Overheard by: happened to be eating lunch

Posted on October 31, 2018
Asia, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Girls, Guys, Porn, Questions, Relationships, Students, Weirdness

Puppy: Hey, I May Be Dinner— Cut Me Some Slack

Middle aged tourist with shopping bags moving towards a small puppy: Well, my oh my, aren't you the sweetest looking thing in the world!
Puppy: (barks)
Middle aged tourist: Oh, go fuck yourself!

Bangkok
Thailand

Overheard by: Adair