Student: Did you know that you can live off of student loans?
Professor: No, you can't.
Student: Yeah. All you do is just keep going back to school, and they'll pay for everything.
Professor: But eventually you'll have to pay them back.
Student: Not if you die.
Nicholls State University
Louisiana
Math professor #1: Don't derive like my brother.
Math professor #2: No, don't derive like my brother!
Northampton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: TARDIS Dyke
Teacher: That would make such a great scene in a movie: A volcano smoking, then it erupts, and thousands of ninjas spout out of it and run forth and populate the earth!
Student: This is the best class ever!
Memphis, Tennessee
Dumb freshman girl: Why does being castrated make your voice high?
Friar professor: Talk to someone after class.
Seattle University
Washington
Overheard by: facepalm
Veterinary pathology professor: The client's Samoyed had puppies, and the last pup came out green. So what happened? Did the bitch get raped by a martian?
Washington State University
Pullman, Washington
Humanities prof: Where were we? (pause) Dead babies!
Murray State University
Kentucky
Guy: I'm going to sneeze!
Girl, getting in his face: Think about bananas! Think about bananas! You won't sneeze.
Religion professor: Just like thinking about bananas won't get you pregnant…
College
Rock Island, Illinois
Overheard by: I like bananas….
Professor: And, as you know, Sweden has the strictest rape laws in America.
UCLA, California
Econ professor: Now, if you'll look to the upper-right corner of the handout, you'll see some pretty ladies. Since this handout is somewhat blurry, you can't see them very well, so you'll just have to take my word that they're pretty.
UW Rock County
Janesville, Wisconsin
