Sorority girl: Guys! Anybody! Help! I just woke up on a couch and I can’t find my jacket, my purse, my shoes, my phone, my wallet, or my gays!
Sorority house
Texas
Sorority girl: Guys! Anybody! Help! I just woke up on a couch and I can’t find my jacket, my purse, my shoes, my phone, my wallet, or my gays!
Sorority house
Texas
Preppy cutie, about steroided-up jock: Oh my god! He just winked at me!
Sarcastic friend: You sure it's not a twitch?
Preppie cutie: Your mom has a twitch! That's how she had you!
(friends stare)
Friend: What?!
El Paso, Texas
Overheard by:
Man to woman at post office: Oh, I must be hallucinating.
Post office lady: Congratulations, that's lovely.
Austin, Texas
Girl: And I was all “his mom is a slut” I mean, she sleeps with everyone.
Boy: Don't talk about my mom that way.
Girl: Why not? I mean, she's my mom, too.
Boy: No, she's not.
Girl: Well, you never know! You weren't there!
San Antonio, Texas
Drunk girl: We were around the bonfire eating flamin' hot Cheetos, and then his brother ran around with the gas can, naked.
Trailer Park
Central Texas
Overheard by: HaleyJ
White Russian guy with slight accent: Something tells me my first born won't be white. That something is my penis.
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: The Sauce
Loud man on cell on bus: You know, I don't really care for turkey. Have it at Thanksgiving and sometimes Christmas, and I am sick of that shit. Now me, I like chicken. That's my thing. I'm a chicken man.
Austin, Texas
