Mom: No! We do not throw balls at people! Do not ever let me catch you throwing a ball!
Toy Store
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: huh?
Loud man on cell on bus: You know, I don't really care for turkey. Have it at Thanksgiving and sometimes Christmas, and I am sick of that shit. Now me, I like chicken. That's my thing. I'm a chicken man.
Austin, Texas
Attractive girl: Lesbians aren't there for your entertainment.
Young guy: Well, gays aren't there to be your shopping assistants, yet somehow you seem to have pulled that off. I figure we can do the same thing, except instead of shopping, it's sex.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: veryinterestedin this plan
Foreign chick on cell: I'm at the gonorrhea. (pause) No, I'm at the gonorrhea. Yah… In yewstun. I'm at deelurds in the gonorrhea.
Dillards, The Galleria
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: OMG She had VD
Big black lady on cell, while eating: No, girl, you don't even know! He actually said, “do you have a beer in your pocket? Cuz I'd really like to get in yo' pants!”
Irving, Texas
Overheard by: cherryindallas
Mexican girl: Do Mexicans even know how to use star 69? Because I asked one once, and she didn't.
Corpus Christi, Texas
Overheard by: overheardincc
Seven-year-old boy to playmate: Oh, well, I can't. I've had five beers already.
Dallas, Texas
Man in black suit on cell: Why don't you get a statement from one of the other witnesses… if they are still alive.
Courthouse
Austin, Texas
New Yorker, trying to get through a crowd of people blocking aisle: Excuse me. Excuse me! Excuse me!
Confused little boy: I already moved.
New Yorker: Oh, I know you have, dear. I was talking to your fat-ass mother.
Grocery Store
Austin, Texas
Biology professor, a month into school: You have an exam next Monday… I mean Tuesday. Next Tuesday. (chuckle) You don't have this class on Mondays.
Really blonde girl in the back: Wait! We don't?!
Blinn College
Brenham, Texas
Overheard by: Face Palm
