Virginia

Customer: The last thing I want in my refrigerator is another pair of pantyhose!

Charlottesville, Virginia

Teenage boy to his mother: There's a lot of crazy stuff going on in the team area. It got all over my face, but none of it got in my mouth.

Summer League Swim Meet
Ashburn, Virginia

Guy #1: We had to read Catcher in the Rye and Uncle Tom's Cabin last year! It was ridiculous!
Guy #2: Aren't they the same story?

Fauquier High
Warrenton, Virginia

Overheard by:

Guy #1: Yo, she can't be saying that “you small shit” to you, man. Was it limp or fully flexed?
Guy #2: No, it was ready to go.
Guy #1: Damn, she trippin.

Tysons Corner, Vriginia

World History teacher: The Nazis imprisoned more people than just the Jews — handicapped people, homosexuals–
Bimbette, interrupting: –They had homos back then? I thought they didn’t invent that until, like, the ’70s.

Osbourn High School
Manassas, Virginia

Overheard by: This is the last time I take a class that isn’t Honors

Biology professor: I’m on Viagra. That’s why I look different.

Christopher Newport University
Newport News, Virginia

Teen to others: Did you know that Ben Franklin invented the first haunted house?

In Line for Haunted House
Roanoke, Vriginia

Girl #1, talking about Lasik surgery: Well, they either cut your eye completely with a laser, or they do part of it surgically.
Girl #2: No! No! Stop. I can't talk about eyes. Don't talk about eyes, especially when I'm eating.
Guy: This is just like with my friend, Marise. We can't talk about killing people because she's from Haiti.

Arlington, Virginia

Overheard by: Molly

Professor: For all you know, this is a huge lie!

Christopher Newport University
Newport News, Virginia

Roommate #1: God! I’m tired of all the gay people in Richmond.
Roommate #2: Yeah, seriously.
Roommate #1: There are so many gay people in my music classes.
Roommate #2: Really?
Roommate #1: Yeah, I’m tired of looking at them and imagining butt sex all the time.

Richmond, Virginia