Wannabe scene chick on phone: I drew another picture for you. There's a banana involved again. (pause) You and your bananas!
Chesapeake, Virginia
Wannabe scene chick on phone: I drew another picture for you. There's a banana involved again. (pause) You and your bananas!
Chesapeake, Virginia
Girl: I was like, ‘What the fuck,’ you know? There’s nothing wrong with me — they’re the stupid bitches! [People in cafeteria stare, and guy in corner starts cracking up.] Oh my god, is everyone here retarded?
Cafeteria, Thomas Nelson Community College
Virginia
Loud woman in restaurant: I'm discreet! My ad says I am!
Merrifield, Virginia
Overheard by: Ihatewhores
Girl to friend: Well, if she's dumb enough to use chloroform to put her baby to sleep, then that's her fault!
Virginia Commonwealth University
Overheard by: tim c
Geology professor, after sneezing: It's all these trees outside having all of this unprotected sex.
Student: We're just caught in the crossfire.
Geology professor: Exactly. You should see the stains on my car!
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
20-something chick to friend on cell: I like how you're listening to the message I left you while I'm standing right here.
Friend: I just want to make sure I get the message, I don't want to be like one of those people who calls you back without listening to the message.
20-something chick: I hate those people! It's like, what if the message was really important? Like, “Help me, I'm dying! Don't call me back–it sets off the bomb!”
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Good point
Tiny Pakistani girl: I did not hook up with him. I just put Jell-O in him. Big difference.
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Teenage girl to father: I didn't come out of her vagina, okay? I don't have to respect her.
Father: Well, I guess you don't respect me either, cause you didn't come out of my vagina!
Chesapeake, Virginia
Overheard by: made my day
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: I'll have the Cobb salad with no croutons, no bacon, no egg, no cheese, and no avocado, with the chicken on a separate plate.
Sheepish waitress: That just leaves lettuce, tomato, and olives. You sure that's all you want, ma'am?
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: I'm sure.
Sheepish waitress: It'd be cheaper to get a side salad and just add chicken.
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: No, I want a Cobb salad.
Sheepish waitress: It would be the same thing without all the toppings.
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: I. Want. A. Cobb. Salad!
Sheepish waitress: Yes, ma'am. What kind of dressing would you like?
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: No dressing, please.
Sheepish waitress: Yes, ma'am.
TGI Friday's
Virginia
