Girl: So then I was about to call him a giant asshole, but I figured he’d take it as a compliment…
Guy: I get it! It’s because he’s gay!
University of Alabama
Alabama
Girl: So then I was about to call him a giant asshole, but I figured he’d take it as a compliment…
Guy: I get it! It’s because he’s gay!
University of Alabama
Alabama
College girl: Remember that girl who admitted to stealing my clothes from the laundry room?
Friend: Yeah?
College girl: Well, she finally gave me my clothes back at the end of the semester before she mysteriously disappeared. I was like going through them and I found not just my clothes, but like other people’s clothes too. Not just girls either. I found tighty-whities and shit. But the weirdest part was at the bottom of the basket. There was a plastic bag of jewelry ranging from like cheapo rhinestone shit to like semiprecious stones, a tv remote with no batteries, a crazy-straw, some masking tape, an empty lipstick tube thing, and a handful of Canadian money.
Newark, New Jersey
Angry woman on cell: I told you — we have Bible study in a half-hour! Get your clothes on and get off of the computer!
Locust Street
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Eavesdropper
Mother to young son in shopping cart: Do you wanna leave?! Do you wanna leave?! How many times do I have to tell you? Don’t lick the cart!
Easton, Massachusetts
American guy: Could you stamp my passport, please? It’s a hobby of mine.
Passport checker to coworker, in German: These damn Americans always want something. Look, they’ve all got booze and bags and t-shirts. Now they want stamps.
American girl: Sir, I’d like mine stamped, too.
Passport checker, in German: I bet that girl was here to fuck guys. American girls become sluts in Europe.
American girl: Sir, that’s not very nice!
Passport checker, still in German: I hate it when they know German. Then we can’t talk about them!
Airport
Cologne
Germany
Man: Hey, asshole, get off the cellphone.
Dude: Excuse me…?
Man: The street car is a public space. Get off the cellphone or get off the street car!
Dude: No.
Man: Yes! I don’t want to have to hear you yapping away–
Dude: –Why don’t you get off, then, buddy?
Man: This is a public space! Stop polluting the space with your hot air!
Dude: No.
Man: Yes.
Dude: No! [Into cell] Oh, nothing, Bruce. Just some loser on the street car…
Man: Hey!
Dude: Yeah?
Man: You’re fat and ugly, you know that?
Dude, leaving: Screw you!
Man, to entire street car: I do this every Sunday…
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: damn hiatus
