Your Friends Say It All the Time.

Little girl, singing: You got a fat butt, you got a fat butt!
Mother: Now sweetie, that's not nice to say about mommy.
Little boy: But its true!

Dressing Room
Union, New Jersey

Overheard by: Sarah

Posted on August 4, 2022
Ass, Assholes, Comebacks, Diet & weight, Kids, Moms, New Jersey, Parenting, Should have used a condom

Wait'll We Hit Corporate America

Jock #1: I felt like such a whore today.
Jock #2: I can imagine.

Montevallo, Alabama

Posted on March 16, 2022
Alabama, Assholes, Default, Education, Feelings, Jocks

It Concerns Me When You Talk About Yourself in the Third Person, Mrs. Smith

Old teacher, about middle school student: Johnny’s fine until he has an audience. Then he gets all gang-bangy and tries to screw Mrs. Smith.
Young teacher: Please don’t ever say that again.

Restaurant
Redlands, California

Posted on March 3, 2022
Assholes, California, Compare and contrast, Education, Etiquette, Gossip, Grumpies, Guys, Restaurants, Sexuality, Teachers

Kids Are Easily Fooled by Short Haircuts and Baritone Voices

Mother holding small child as she sees a girlfriend: Sammi* look! It’s Debbie! Say hi to Debbie!
Small child: Hi, ugly man!

Target
Traverse City, Michigan

Posted on July 17, 2021
Assholes, Default, Kids, Michigan, Moms, Parenting, Stores, Women

Is My Little Brother Getting Sober?

Frat boy to another: Dude, why do we always act like such assholes?

National Zoo
Washington, DC

Overheard by: keeeeem

Posted on January 28, 2021
Assholes, Default, Frat boy types, Questions, Tourist attractions, Washington, DC

Mr. Duchovny's Voicemail Fills Up Fast

Teenage girl on cell: David, I fucked you last night. The least you could do is give me a ride to Taco Bell.

St. Louis, Missouri

Posted on September 8, 2020
Assholes, Couples, Food, Missouri, Sex

Probably All Those Vaccinations

Guy: They might be autistic, but that doesn't mean they don't want to have gay sex with children.

New Britain, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Grace

Posted on April 30, 2020
Assholes, Guys, Pennsylvania, Sex, Stupidity

Also, I'm Having Company Tonight, So You'll Have to Find Another Place to Sleep

Young boy to father: Dad, I really wanted that chocolate cereal, did you buy some for me?
Father: No.
Young boy: Why not?
Father: Listen, I'd also prefer it if you stayed at your mom's all the time. But do we always get what we want? No.

Subway
Vienna
Austria

Posted on July 6, 2019
Assholes, Candy, Dads, Europe, Kids, Parenting, Questions, Train, Wishes

Let's Ask the Jews to Be on Our Side, Though

Teen girl to friend: We could be like the next Hitler, but cooler!
Friend: Oooh, awesome!

Toronto
Canadia

Posted on June 4, 2019
Assholes, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Friends, History, Stupidity, Teens

Even When It’s Minty-Fresh

Guy to girlfriend: Okay! I promise I won’t talk about the smell of your vagina ever again.

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on January 18, 2017
Assholes, Default, Guys, Massachusetts, Vagina

Assholes