Assholes

Woman #1: I can’t believe they set you up.
Woman #2: I know. I mean, the guy did not even have a college degree. I don’t want to sound like an elitist, but I am a doctor. What were they thinking?

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/05/doctor-love.html

Overheard by: dave

Bro #1: What a douchebag move!
Bro #2: Seriously. He glued it to the car. He could have just taped it!

Suburbia, Maryland

Bad egg in sweater-vest: Gandhi was a Marlboro man, not Newport.
Friend in tight polo: You're the worst sort of person.
Bad egg in sweater-vest: That hurts.

New Haven, Connecticut

Bad-ass #1: What is Two and a Half Men about, anyway?
Bad-ass #2: Stop fuckin' askin' me, man! I told you, I don't know!

Video Store
Adelaide
Australia

Overheard by: behind the counter

Guy #1: I was the second person she ever had sex with.
Guy #2: What!?
Guy #1: I know! And it freaked me out! So I never called her again!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Big B

50-something guy #1: My new girlfriend is twenty years younger than me.
50-something guy #2: You going to marry her?
50-something guy #1: No. I had that talk with her at the very beginning.
50-something guy #2: You got any nude photos of her on your phone?

Health Club Locker Room
Shawnee Mission, Kansas

Large white lady to small Mexican husband: I’m bleeding. [Pokes hubby, who ignores her.] Heyyy, I’m bleeding from my neck! Don’t you care?! [Hubby puts headphones on and looks out window.] I wish I knew you didn’t speak English before I married you!

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/06/perfect-couple.html

Overheard by: corwin

Bro #1: You were about to make fun of a girl who was missing a hand!
Bro #2 (defensively): An arm!

Rogue Valley Mall
Medford, Oregon

Girl (about her college): The on-campus security is really good too, the campus police will get to you in like, 30 seconds. I’m still thinking about getting mace or something.
Girl’s younger brother: No one wants to rape you.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Quazarfreez

Girl, to guy who just got off a ski lift: Joe? Is that you? It's Mary. We used to date!
Guy: Oh, yeah, I thought you looked familiar from behind.

Ski Resort
Tahoe, Nevada