Australia

American tourist #1: What's your background?
Tourist guide: Aboriginal.
American tourist #1: No, as in “where were you born?”
Tourist guide: Here, in Australia.
American tourist #1: But you're black!
Tourist guide: Yes… I'm aboriginal.
American tourist #1: But I thought you guys were all extinct! Are you, like, the last one?
American tourist #2: Jay, shut up. It's idiots like you that make us look stupid. He's messing with you, there are no aboriginals.

Adelaide, Australia

Girl: You know, I'm usually a very wise person. Recently, with my situation, I lost a lot of my wiseness, but this trip has brought back that wiseness.
Boy: So, your wiseness never informed you it was called “wisdom”?
Girl: I hate you.

Banora Point High School
Australia

Man: Excuse me, but your skirt is caught on your bag and it's pulling your skirt all the way up.
Young woman (annoyed): Excuse me! Can't you see I'm on the fucking phone?!
Man: Fine then–walk around with your ass hanging out–see if I care.
Young woman (into her phone): Oh my god! Some guy just totally came up and told me that my ass is showing! (walks off with skirt still showing)

Airport
Sydney
Australia

Boyfriend on train: I always wanted to be a pigeon.
Incredulous girlfriend: What?
Boyfriend: Oh shit, I just thought that out loud.

Melbourne
Australia

College girl #1: So did I tell you I’m going on a celibacy kick this semester? To cleanse myself.
College girl #2: Oh, really?
College girl #1, picking up GQ magazine with Rachel Bilson on the cover: Ugh, I’ve lost all respect for her. She’s such a slut.

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Lindsay

Man: So yeah, the baby is due in July.
Hairdresser: This year?

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Brett

Old sweaty guy to gym owner: Bob*, did you know there's something wrong with one of your balls?
Gym owner: Which one?
Old sweaty guy: The little blue one. It's half deflated.
Gym owner: Oh, that one. It's always had problems. People keep doing stupid things with it.

Gym
Blue Mountains
Australia

Ditzy new student: People don't think I'm smart. But I just don't, like, like big words. I don't use them. I used one of them once at work and no one knew what I was talking about!

University of South Australia

Hip girl to friend: So I went to this Vietnamese restaurant and apparently it's run by Chinese people. Can they even do that?

Sydney
Australia

Movie-goer: It was, like, almost orgasmic… without the orgasm.

Nova Cinema
Carlton, Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Hayley