Pride

College guy #1: My penis is getting stronger!
College guy #2: What does that even mean? How do you know?
College guy #1: Cuz I can pee past the bushes now, and for a while I couldn’t.
College guy #2: Niiiice!
(they high five)

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/414278089/want-me-to-show-you.html

Overheard by: a lil.

Girl to friend: I’m not an alcoholic.
Friend: I’m not an alcoholic, either.
Girl: Cheers to us not being alcoholics!

Austin, Texas

Conductor: This train will terminate at Stratford. The next station is Waterloo. Please change here for the Bakerloo, Northern and Waterloo & City lines. Alternatively you can also change for Waterloo International, catch the next Eurostar, go to Paris and show the French how to play rugby.

London
England

Overheard by: kat

Hubby to wifey: No power on earth will make me wear a diaper.

http://nimbleit.21publish.com/OverheardUtah/archive/2005/11/27/1e8zyoejva474.htm

Overheard by: Jessie

Proud girl: Ever since I gave up drinking, I have been drinking so much wine.

Chicago, Illinois

Spoiled nine‐year‐old: People only love me for my stuff.

Day Care
Wichita, Kansas

Overheard by: amused

College girl: There, I’ve belittled and insulted The View without using the word “bitch” or the c‑word.

Student Center, Montclair State University
New Jersey

Overheard by: …and that itself is a feat

English teacher: It’s a big responsibility to be a goddess, it troubles me all the time.

A.C. Flora High School
Columbia, South Carolina

Little boy to grandma: Once, when I was camping, I sat on my biscuits, then I put my biscuits on a rock and ate them like a dog.
Grandma: Oh, uh… That’s nice…

Australia

Very pregnant woman surrounded by misbehaving children: Pregnancy is just such a gift. I mean, I feel so blessed. Like, this is what my body was made for, you know? I just feel so much more complete when I’m pregnant. Knowing that I’m growing this life…
Young woman behind her in line, interrupting: Madam? You are a walking advertisement for mandatory birth control.

Starbucks
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: The guy applauding her