Worried junior: Oh my god, Betty, we are totally not sitting in the loser section today. Today we are going to be cool.

Overheard by: inthecoolsection

College guy #1: My penis is getting stronger!
College guy #2: What does that even mean? How do you know?
College guy #1: Cuz I can pee past the bushes now, and for a while I couldn't.
College guy #2: Niiiice!
(they high five)

Overheard by: a lil.

Girl to friend: I'm not an alcoholic.
Friend: I'm not an alcoholic, either.
Girl: Cheers to us not being alcoholics!

Austin, Texas

Conductor: This train will terminate at Stratford. The next station is Waterloo. Please change here for the Bakerloo, Northern and Waterloo & City lines. Alternatively you can also change for Waterloo International, catch the next Eurostar, go to Paris and show the French how to play rugby.


Overheard by: kat

Hubby to wifey: No power on earth will make me wear a diaper.

Overheard by: Jessie

Proud girl: Ever since I gave up drinking, I have been drinking so much wine.

Chicago, Illinois

Spoiled nine-year-old: People only love me for my stuff.

Day Care
Wichita, Kansas

Overheard by: amused

College girl: There, I’ve belittled and insulted The View without using the word “bitch” or the c-word.

Student Center, Montclair State University
New Jersey

Overheard by: …and that itself is a feat

English teacher: It’s a big responsibility to be a goddess, it troubles me all the time.

A.C. Flora High School
Columbia, South Carolina

Little boy to grandma: Once, when I was camping, I sat on my biscuits, then I put my biscuits on a rock and ate them like a dog.
Grandma: Oh, uh… That's nice…