Lecturer, laughing manically: Okay, guys! I promise that is the last time I will mention poop this semester. (under her breath) Probably.
Film Class
Perth
Australia
Teenage girl: But you don't actually believe god made the world in seven days.
Teenage boy: No.
Teenage girl: And you believe in evolution and the dinosaurs?
Teenage boy: Yes.
Teenage girl: How come?
Teenage boy: Because a world that never had dinosaurs is a world I want no part of.
Adelaide
Australia
Teen boy: What month is it now? Like… spring or something, right?
Teen girl: Nah, I think it's still winter. Cause it's August.
Teen boy: Really? I swear winter ended, like, two weeks ago, ay.
Teen girl: Oh… maybe…
Teen boy: Yeah. So what is it now? Spring? Or autumn? Or winter?
Australia
Blonde to bartender, about explicit music video on TV: Will you turn that off?! It’s offensive! [To friend] I am way too fucking Christian for that shit!
Scruffy Murphy’s Pub
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: bystander that was enjoying the video
Four-year-old girl: I like sex! I like sex! I like sex!
Six-year-old sister: You don’t even know what sex is!
Four-year-old girl: Yes, I do!
Six-year-old sister: No, you don’t!
Four-year-old girl: Yes, I do! It’s prawn dumplings!
Six-year-old sister: No, it’s not.
Four-year-old girl: Sex is prawn dumplings!
Six-year-old sister: No, it’s not! Sex is when mum and dad go into the bedroom and go like this…
Clayton
Australia
Girl reporting on date the night before: So I was good and kept my clothes on and got home at 10 am.
Guy: Wait, wait! 10 am? Don't you mean 10 pm?
Girl: Oh yeah! Sorry, force of habit!
Brunswick
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Ed Klein
Teacher: Okay, I want you to write down twenty words relating to one of your hobbies, and then write a poem about it.
Girl: Can we write it on surprise butt sex?
Teacher: Errrmmm…if you want?
School Classroom
Australia
Overheard by: i wrote mine on sport….
Drunken girl #1: Ah, that tubby boy kissed me.
Drunken girl #2: Doesn't matter, just remember the rule.
Drunken girl #1: “We don't share”?
Drunken girl #2: No, the other rule.
Drunken girl #1: “Your dress can be as short as you like, as long as you're wearing stockings”?
Drunken girl #2: No. The “if you don't remember it, it didn't happen” rule.
Drunken girl #1: Oh, I'm forgetting it now, then.
Sydney
Australia
Blonde girl: I did this Facebook quiz the other day: “what kind of drunk are you?' It said that I was a “sexual, entertaining drunk.” It knows me so well!
Melbourne
Australia
Teen girl, incredulously: But you don't call a fattie “fat”!
Teen guy: I know!
Australia
Overheard by: PCGoneWrong
